Tuesday, March 16, 2010

Make Outz

Friends and Lovahs, Lovahs and Friends, 

I'm going to the rodeo tonight to see Mr. Keith Urban!!!!!!!!! I'm uber.excited. I'll take some pics for all you non-texans. I'm praying I can catch the show where a tiny monkey dressed up as a cowboy rides a border collie dressed as a horse, it's the cutest thing I've ever seen in my life. 

So, I have a male beefer who was bitching about him not being mentioned in my blog. Even though I did his damn laundry for two years in college. He knows I heart him to the moon and back, so here's his mention. I will tell a story about him that is both embarrassing and endearing, because that's what I do. 

One night, we all went out on the town in Nashville. Beverages were consumed, the dance floor was DOMINATED by us, and cab drivers feared us (totally standard for us). I had intense eye sex with a cute stranger the entire night, and when he came over to talk to me, I said "It's about damn time." (I'm very blunt...oopsies...but he liked it and we actually ended up dating for a while)...I DIGRESS. 

So, girl beefer and boy beefer and I headed back to boy beefer's house because he had booze and we wanted to late-night. Then I noticed boy and girl beefer batting eyelashes and flirting. Oh.Sweet.Jeebus.

Next thing I know, I'm alone, on the couch, sipping on a beer, and waiting for girl and boy beefer to finish whatever it was that they were doing upstairs. They were always "friends" but I'm pretty sure they were in the process of getting EXTRA friendly. 

Girl beefer and I are close. THISCLOSE. So we say whatever we want to each other. So, when girlbeefer FINALLY stumbles downstairs, I'm highly amused, because now I can give my beefers HELL for as long as possible. The following convo ensued. 

Me: "Umm...so were y'all folding laundry or sucking face??"

Girl Beefer: "What!? No, we were just talking, nothing happened, jeez chill out..."

Me: "OH, so is that why your top is on INSIDE OUT?!"

Girl Beefer: "Oh. shit. Um. Well. Shit. DON'T SAY ANYTHING"

Me: "Oh...don't worry... I won't" meanwhile evil Cheshire Cat grin/Dwight Schrute evil face is in FULL FORCE. I had ammo, and you can bet your ass I was gonna use it.

The end. LOVE YOU GIRL AND BOY BEEFERS. And I know you love me for giving you hell. You so love it.



  1. WAIT...tiny monkey...cowboy outfit...whaaaaa? Please capture that on film!!!

  2. Boy Beefers are the best... I'm blessed with a few of them, and I love them dearly. :)
    Have fun at the rodeo!! I'm uber jealous.

  3. NIce. . .don't think he'll be compaining about not being mentioned on the blog anymore. I know you're wanting it to read B-Effers, but all I see is Bee-fers. You should really consider changing the spelling. . . . .Sincerely, your Personal Word Masseuse

  4. As strange as it sounds, I'm uber curious to see the monkey/dog thing. Do NOT miss that show because I NEED to see pictures (and a few of Keith would be nice too pleaseandthank you).

  5. No, mr. overly competitive, if you had read my PREVIOUS posts, I like to call them beefers. It's more special that way....thanks though...you rock, but you don't win this one!! muahahaha

  6. Maybe this was before I began reading your Bodacious Blog? Give a brotha a break. I still see bovine when I read posts about beefers. . . . . sorry. Draw?

  7. ohhh okay...i just got what a beefer was.

    ANYWAY, woohoo keith urban! LOVE HIM!

  8. I am so jealous and so happy that you got to go. I'm not a huge country fan(shame on me I know since I live in Houston) but him I would love to see. I'm hoping it was as good as he looks? : D

  9. Ahhhh have so much fun at Keith. Take lots of pictures....even for us fellow Texans!!

  10. Oh! Get excited. That little barrel of laughs is named "Whiplash - the Cowboy Ridin' Monkey". He made his debut in Raleigh not too long ago. He is super precious/ridiculous at the same time. And Yes, the rodeo will smell like horse crap, but Keith is totally worths it.

  11. Haha, this post made me laugh. And I think you kind of made a point to your beefer who was wanting to be mentioned - ie if you want to be mentioned, be prepared for me to air your dirty laundry. Excellent! :)

  12. I wonder if there is regret over being mentioned now? Ah ha ha

  13. Great story and yay for spunky Aussie singers! Looking forward to hearing your verdict on the show.


  14. you are SO funny! can we be friends? HAHAHA love this story!


  15. What an amazing post...


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