Wednesday, December 30, 2009

Jules.... A La Bridget Jones

I've been MIA, mostly because I've realized how much time I have on my hands with the holidays, and I've been...doing a whole lot of nothing. Any by nothing I mean a bit of soul searching. You see, I graduate in May, and have to figure out my next move by then, and the older I get, the faster time goes, hence the worries I've been carrying around. Soooo, I hope everyone had a wonderful, Happy Holiday, and I wish you all the very best in the New Year. So here goes: Jules, a la Bridget Jones:

Weight: bahaha...not telling. 
Alcohol Units:'s the freaking holidays, give me a break! I will tell you I've purchased 1 bottle pink champagne, 1 bottle pink prosecco, 1 bottle Chardonnay, 1 bottle Merlot, 1 case of "premium European sampler" beer, 1 bottle Crown Royale, and a few more things....let's not talk about how much is left k?? 
Cigarettes:  0..... ok make that .5, I TRY to smoke, but I CAN'T!!! I pretend to inhale, and I end up coughing and hacking everywhere, but I somehow think attempting to smoke looks sexy and alluring...I blame Joe Camel during my youth. 
Calories: Let's just say Jenny Craig would have a full on melt-down....for realz yo. 
Boyfriend: All I will say is that my adorable nephew told me over the phone today: 
"Aunt Julie, I know sumfin you got for Christmas..."
Me: "Oh really? Well let's keep it a secret till I come visit you...."
Adorable Nephew: "Well, I still know sumfin you got!!"
Me: "Did Santa Claus tell you!?"
Adorable Nephew: "Nope...I just know it"
Me: "Ok...."
Adorable Nephew: "I'm just gonna tell you what it is, k??"
Me: "Ok...."
Adorable Nephew: "A BOYFRIENDDDDDDDDDD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! "
Me: "! Sounds......interesting...."
As we speak, I'm signing him up for the A&E special, "Psychic Kids". I saw the preview for it while I lost my "Hoarders" virginity....let me tell ya, that show is DEEPLY......DEEPLY....DISTURBING. I texted "Lola" aka bestie during the show begging her not to become a hoarder....serious business that shit is....ew. 

So, dear blogosphere, I leave you with some pearls of wisdom for the New Year, 10 to be exact, in honor of 2010. 

1. Don't riddle yourself with makes life so much better and fills it with surprises and exhilarating moments. 

2. Friends and family are amazing. Hugs are powerful. 

3. Don't psych yourself out, just go with the flow. You'll be surprised sometimes how good it makes you feel. 

4. Good music is far more than just something delicious in your ears. 

5.  Be honest. It seems hard at first, but it's liberating, and it helps create honesty in others around you. 

6. Be YOURSELF. Why live a life as someone else when you can live your own? Follow what YOU love, don't copy, don't try to be someone else. Create your own mark in life, that's why you're here. 

7. Give of yourself to others. (Mind OUT of the gutter...haha) But seriously. 5 minutes time to someone, anyone can truly make a difference. 

8. Work for what you love. Love what you work for. Cheesy, but we're only here for so long, might as well make it count. 

9. Learn to love. Love something/somebody with all your heart at least once. It can hurt like the Dickens, but you'll never forget the best parts. 

10. RELAX. Throw your worries away every once in a while. Take a deep breath, look around, and find something to be thankful for. A tree, a dog, a freaking chocolate bar. It's all there for a reason. 

I hope you all have a WONDERFUL  New Year. I wish you all the very best! I'll be back with more soon....ish! 

Music for the New Year:

Anything that makes you happy :)
I'm really into soundtracks these past few days, "Romeo and Juliet" (the 90's version with's got lots of delish tunes). 

I leave you with an amazing Regina Spektor song that she wrote just for the New Year. I'm obsessed!
 lots of lovelovelove, 


Tuesday, December 22, 2009

Dear John Mayer

Dear John Mayer, 

When I first heard the words "Your Body Is A Wonderland" my sophomore year of highschool, I was hooked. I liked you before you were big. Then you wrote "Comfortable", an anthem I belted out for years, while wallowing in self pity. THEN, you kind of turned into a bit of a tool. You were mean to my girl Maniston, then you got all up in J. Simps's grill (even though I don't really like her all that all). I listened to a lot of your live recordings and you kind of pulled a Britney on us and went a bit wonkers on us. So I shunned you from my Itunes library. Every once in a while, one of your classics would turn on, and I'd pretend I couldn't hear you. I was mad, you changed your ways. But now you've released the new album "Battle Studies". HOW the HELL am I supposed to hate you now!?!? This album is so good, and "Edge of Desire" is the new "Your Body Is A Wonderland"....basically, what I'm trying to say is that I think I love you again. Call me. We can write beautiful music together, it would be magical. That is all. 

i'm not that into tats, but he's kinda dreamy these days; not gonna lie.

Musique du Jour: 
"Battle Studies" album by John Mayer. Join to listen to it for free, and it's a new amazing website that I'm obsessed with, and you should be too. 

Monday, December 21, 2009

Aaaaaand, We're Back!

Hello Lovers!
I'm back!!!! I'm FINALLY done with the last winter semester of MY LIFE (unless I randomly decide to get a Ph.D which is NOT happening, unless it's a Ph.D in wine tasting/beer drinking and shopping). SO I turned in my final term paper on Thursday, and then madness/hilarity ensued. Friday night, I may or may not have pretended I was back in college and taken about 57934857398 jello shots. Hey, they were GREEN AND RED, Christmas themed, so I obviously couldn't say no. Just couldn't. Then I had some more, and then we got home at 5 am. So, needless to say, Saturday was spent in bed, and it was DELICIOUS. Luckily, the hangover wasn't tooooo bad, so I did one of my favorite things in the world. 

What's that you ask? Here's my secret to eternal happiness. Get a pair of eyeshades, preferably in satin, very much a-la Holly Golightly from Breakfast at Tiffany's (for anyone who doesn't know, she is my idol, along with Carla Bruni and Marion Cotillard.) Then, you get a solid pair of speakers. THEN, you blast your favorite tunes. I chose Radiohead for this special occasion. THEN, you put on your eyeshades, throw yourself across the bed, and pass the EFF out for the entire day, all while letting your mind wander to the most random places you could ever imagine and enjoy your music. My mind literally didn't know what to think about since school had been on my mind for so long, but after that personal Radiohead party, I feel like a new, recharged person! I highly recommend it. No, I wasn't on drugs. Unless you count the jello shots still coursing through my veins. 

the perfect combo.

In other news...I started my Christmas shopping yesterday, except it kind of turned into personal shopping for myself. I know myself, so obviously I know what I want, and other people are just so much harder to shop for, duh. In the middle of a trip to Sephora (heaven) Sarah from A LIFE MORE EXCITING told me Brittany Murphy died and I freaked out. I asked my favorite Sephora helper if he knew who she was, and he said, "Honey, I'm not THAT gay" because I kept going on and on and on and ON about how awesome she was in Clueless and how sad I was to hear about her death, especially right before Christmas. And then I bought some taupe nail polish. For myself. In her honor. 

THEN, I went to Urban Outfitters and fell in love with all the amazing t-shirts they have. I love v-neck tees, they are a staple and I could have one for every day of the year, and THIS year Urban Outfitters is trying to make me broke because I wanted one of everyone. I'm OBSESSED with Alice in Wonderland, and of course, they had the freaking cutest Alice in Wonderland shirts....damn you Urban, you and your amazing tees. And they're SO SOFT!!

THEN, I went and saw "Young Victoria" with my bestie and our moms (who are also besties...cute I know). And let me tell you, I wasn't expecting too much, and I got a LOT. It was amazing. I got goosebumps approximately 5739485739 times, and cried/teared up TWICE. That says a LOT, I don't typically cry...ever, and I'm not even PMSing...soo, go see it. It's seriously a great romance story, and it's worth seeing just to take in the GORGEOUS scenery and impressive wardrobe. Go. Now. Take a tissue, it's the friggin' sweetest love story ever, and it's not one of those that's wrought with angst and torture. I've included the trailer below. Oh, and the soundtrack is equally impressive for you music lovers. 

So glad to be back in the blogosphere, sorry I've been MIA, but I promise to be good this winter break! Happy Early Christmas to all of you darlings! 

Thursday, December 17, 2009

Future Christmas Plans:

Okay guys, it's time to put the petal to the metal here. I have 1.5 pages left to write before I turn in this GD paper, and let me tell ya, I've NEVER been so ADD/cracked out in my LIFE. SO, in order to motivate myself to finish this whale of a paper, I'm going to blog. Yeah I know, procrastination to the MAX, don't call it irresponsible, call it....creative pressure. 

I just needed to tell you my brilliant/genius/imaginative plan. So I've been reading all your lovely blogs, and a lot of you seem to worry/have problems with the kiddies finding out about Santa Claus (you know....the truth...that he's really not real). I remember when I found out that Sinter Klaas wasn't real. This bitch in first grade spoiled it for me, and let me tell you, I've never forgiven her. I had to play along with my parents that I still believed in Santa, and I felt so terrible letting them believe that I believed. UGH. That girl ruined it. RUINED.IT.

SO, in an effort to plan ahead and make sure that my kids don't find out about Santa prematurely, I have some plans. It's more like a I like that word. Go with it.

1. My husband will be dressing up as Santa whenever he puts gifts under the tree at night, just in case. My husband will not be fat,so he will have to stuff his belly, put on the beard, the whole 9 yards, otherwise I will withhold the goods. Yeah I'm on a mission here. 
2. We will have Santa Claus TYPE his thank you notes so the kids can't do handwriting these days are so damn curious, typing is the way to go on this one. 
3. The kids will be drinking "special hot chocolate" before they go to bed on Christmas Eve. by "special", I mean it will be dosed with this:

you may call this drugging my children. i call it protecting their innocence. i go to great lengths in the name of youthful happiness. 

So, feel free to take some of my advice, don't call CPS because I don't even HAVE kids yet, I'm just trying to help you out, jeeze. With that, I leave you with a little gem of a joke:

It is near the Christmas break of the school year. The students have
turned in all their work and there is really nothing more to do. All the
children are restless and the teacher decides to have an early dismissal.

Teacher: "Whoever answers the questions I ask, first and correctly can
leave early today."

Little Johnny says to himself "Good, I want to get outta here. I'm smart
and will answer the question."

Teacher: "Who said 'Four Score and Seven Years Ago'?"
Before Johnny can open his mouth, Susie says, "Abraham Lincoln."
Teacher: "That's right Susie, you can go home."

Johnny is mad that Susie answered the question first.
Teacher: "Who said 'I Have a Dream'?"
Before Johnny can open his mouth, Mary says, "Martin Luther King."
Teacher: "That's right Mary, you can go."
Johnny is even madder than before.

Teacher: "Who said 'Ask not, what your country can do for you'?"
Before Johnny can open his mouth, Nancy says, "John F. Kennedy."
Teacher: "That's right Nancy, you may also leave."

Johnny is boiling mad that he has not been able to answer to any of the

When the teacher turns her back Johnny says, "I wish these b*tch%s would
keep their mouths shut!"

The teacher turns around: "NOW WHO SAID THAT?"


BAHAHA. That is all. I'm finishing this paper NOW. Any stories on how kids found out the ugly Santa truth?? I want to hear .

Tuesday, December 15, 2009

Tidbit Tuesday

I have a 15 pager due tomorrow, so I'm short on time. But thought I'd leave you with a little gem of sorts. 

Dear Ladies, 

IT'S CALLED A THONG. I don't know if you know this, but when you're wearing pants, shorts, anything rather snug, your granny panties are NOT the best choice for undies. Stop making me feel like a huge jerk when I give you the "what the hell are you doing" look and acting all surprised when I say your outfit is null and void when there is a visible panty line. I don't care if those are J Brand Jeans, or 1500 dollar slacks, IT DOESN'T MATTER ANYMORE BECAUSE YOU RUINED THEM by showing us your lack of taste by having on granny panties. Also, to the ladies who show crack, or whose panties ride up to....oh, say MID BACK, it's time we go to fashion kindergarten and learn how to dress. No one wants to see your crack, and no one wants to see your gnarly fruit of the loom panties from 1998. I'm sorry, it's just not ok. And don't even get me started on the thongs with gemstones that are specifically made for showing off, that's a whole new level of trash.  You might as well pack up your crap and move out to the Jersey Shore with these "classy broads". 

snoookie, JWOW, and the other skanks (excuse me, guidettes) will welcome you. you and your bejeweled thong.

SO, long story short. No panty lines por favor. 

Any fashion faux paus that really make your eyes hurt? Spill. I know I'm not alone on this one. 

Monday, December 14, 2009


Good Morning/Afternoon Lovers!
I'm at work with a BITCH of a sinus headache, and I really would love nothing more than to curl up in a ball and watch Dexter and The Office all day. BUT, I woke up to an email that made me feel so much better! So, Cher and Mer (RHYME TIME!) Both gave me blogger awards! I'm so so flattered and honored, I'm popular! What sucks, and what Cher doesn't know, is that I was actually going to pass an award onto her....but I guess I'll have to wait now, I mean she's really busy anyway trying to find a way to ship me a snowman alllll the way from Canada! (You know, like where Jillian Harris is from!? she's obviously really cool)

my trophies. 

So, now, in blogger tradition, I will pass these awards on! The "Your Blog Is Fabulous" goes to APOCALYPSTICK. This chick makes me laugh. Like a LOT. She makes some really good points about life, love, fashion and people, and that makes me happy. So rock on. 

The "Superior Scribbler Award" goes on to BITCH BITCH BITCH...No really. That's her blog, I'm not calling her a bitch people, calm down. She's pretty hysterical and drank ELEVEN mimosas yesterday, so she's obviously cool AND she's good at math (read her mimosa post). Go check her out! 

So, word to yo mother, I'm going to go bang my head against a wall till this headache goes away, and then lock myself in a room to finish the LAST of my final term papers. Soo, I'll be back!


My friend told me that I said this OUT LOUD in Whataburger at 3 am recently. (I didn't order anything to eat..yes I'm so proud of myself too...)

So a guy walks in wearing a mechanic shirt, like a real live mechanic shirt. And he was being gross. He was ogling my friends and I, basically nothing short of eye-f*cking us. I mean it was gross and offensive. This is after some drunk-ass douchenozzle slammed my friend into the wall with the door and I yelled "Oh no big deal, that's just a HUMAN BEING you slammed in the door JERK!" . So....I was feeling frisky, apparently, and I looked nasty mechanic boy's direction, sneered, and said "you change my oil motherf*cker".....Like I said, I do not recall said verbal attack, but apparently my friends almost peed in their pants...oopsies. My bad.
Then we went home and had a RADIOHEAD jam session. It was EPIC. The End. 

OH, if you need gift ideas,  go to my friend's ETSY SITE and buy a handmade custom plate, she's awesome and she has pretty handwriting! 

Friday, December 11, 2009


I have a 12 page paper due by 8 pm tonight, and I have two pages written, so I'm a leeeetle bit frazzled, and ALL I really wanna do is blog, go to Target and check out the new Rodarte dresses. So yes, it's FML Friday. But ya know what? At 8 pm, I'm going to email that sucker in, and start having some effing fun. You're all's gonna get nuts. Party like it's 1999 nuts.

OK, so yesterday, Mer from (flash) pasteurized gave me an award and I'm so so stoked, but I'm also so so effed if I don't get back to this paper, so I will come back tomorrow and be nice, say my thank yous, write out my acceptance speech (Michael Scott Dundee Award Style) and pass on the award to my loves. For now, I'll leave you with a little letter to one of my long lost lovers. Be back tomorrow with more fun!

Dear Diet Coke, 

I never thought I would hear myself say it, it's been 2 months...but I've been thinking a lot, and goes. I miss you. I know I left you so suddenly, and without warning, but I had to do what was best for us. I was feeling like a chubby bunny and Ann, my yoga teacher told me that I wouldn't lose the extra chubsterness unless I gave you up. And in the words of Jack and Ennis from Brokeback Mountain....I JUST CAN'T QUIT YOU. But I did...and I got skinnzie I'm trying to say, is that while I miss you, miss your bubbly fizz, the way you cured my headaches (because I was addicted to you) and your intoxicating taste and caffeine, I have to quit you. I do. And I did. And there are 12 of you sitting in my fridge, and I think I'm going to give you away. I have to get rid of you, you know how much I love you though, especially when you come out of the fountain. 

Oh yeah, vodka, whiskey, scotch and the gang say hi, they miss you too, they say it's not nearly as fun hanging out with plain old seltzer water, but they still think about you, you and your rich amber color. They say seltzer is so "plain" and forces them to be downed quickly, instead of slowly enjoyed and savored. But they're learning to get along with lime and Splenda (Michael Scott: "It's scotch and Splenda, tastes like sugar, gets you drunk like scotch!") , so I guess things will be ok. Pinot, Chardonnay, Merlot,  Pinot Noir, Cabernet, and  the Sauvignons are fine, just as usual, so they don't really feel your absence. Anyway, I just wanted to tell you I still love you, and maybe if you stop making me feel like a chunky monkey, I'll think about bringing you back. But for now, it's so-long, sayonara, I'll see you soon. I still think about you.....
love, and I'm sorry for hurting you, 

this was me. 

Wednesday, December 9, 2009

Workin' It On Wednesday

Ok, so last night I took the LAST WINTER TERM EXAM I'LL EVER HAVE TO TAKE....EVER...AGAIN... Sooo, needless to say I'm stoked and everyone around me knows it. Last night, I got home, opened up some Pinot, got in my bathrobe, and had a date with Dexter. I only just started watching the show, and it's so morbid and weird that I can't stop watching.... any Dexter lovers out there?? He's not too bad to look at either...just sayin'...


Today is a good day. I'm no longer Grinchy, and I'm reeeee-diculously excited because I get to go to the gym after work today!!!See, usually I have class right after work, so I don't get out till around 8:45 at night, and since my school is in a ghetto part of town, there's no way I'm walking around the hood at night in shorts. SOO, now that school's over, I get to beat traffic, and work out!

I'm one of those people. I grew up being super athletic, and it kind of stuck. I LOVE working out. I love getting my ass kicked in the gym, and I love the soreness after a good workout. Now that I finally have time, I get really excited about these things, plus it'll ward off holiday chubsterness. 

Brit's also excited to be in the gym...but not as excited as I am!!

Also, next week, a favorite band of mine, "Phoenix" is playing in Austin and I'm thinking about taking a road trip to see them....exciting I know. Relaxation, good music and vino with the sister in law and brother is much needed about now before the holiday madness begins!

So Real Quick, everyone go wish SARAH FROM A LIFE MORE EXCITING A HAPPY FREAKING BIRTHDAY!!!!  I know her personally, and she's a cool cat, so get your heinies over there and witness her awesomeness. 


Musique Du Jour: 
Anything and everything by PHOENIX!

Monday, December 7, 2009

Another Manic Monday

Bonjour Again Dears, 

Today is Monday, and I don't like today. Because it's Monday, and because I hate school, and because I'm sleepy and I don't want to finish the paper I have due tomorrow, and I don't want to take the midterm I have to take AFTER I turn in the term paper. And on it goes, like the old lady who swallowed the fly and what not....dude. Seriously, someone made mils writing a children's book about a hungry ass woman who basically swallowed a bunch of stuff. What am I doing in grad school again? 

So today, I have ceremoniously awarded myself with "THE GRINCH AWARD". I started giving out the Grinch Award a few years back, because I typically am full of Holiday Cheer starting on the 1st of December. Basically, the Grinch Award goes to someone/something that pisses me off, and throws off the trajectory of my Holiday Cheerfulness. 

Today, I am the Grinch. I will steal your happiness. 

So, I think I will be awarding "Grinch" awards once a week till Christmas is over. Being as I am the Grinch for the day, then I don't really have to explain why I deserve the Grinch award. I'm just exhausted and stressed, but once tomorrow is over, I'll feel less like a furry green a-hole that steals people's joy for the holidays. 

I literally just had a conversation with a co-worker, and as she walked away, I freaked out (internally) because I have NO IDEA what the hell I said. I literally could've been talking about Dwight Schrute's beet farm and how much I loved beets. So now I keep giving her the side-eye, waiting for her to look at me weird for fear that I said something so off topic that she might now think I'm on meth/crack/insertdrugofchoisethatmakesyouinsanehere. 

In other news. I have this really hawt dress that is perfect for a holiday party. Now, here's the thing. I don't want to waste it on some stupid holiday party ( no, not yours, someone elses that doesn't read the blog) so I'm waiting for the perfect party....only it hasn't happened yet and I'm getting Grinchier and Grinchier thinking about the possibility of not being able to wear it...but it's sooo hawt, and it makes me look skinny in all the right places.....ugh. So, hopefully in the next week or so I'll have a place to wear it.

it's like this, but in red, and HAWT.

Also, Net-A-Porter is having their end of season SALE. And it's seismically amazing. And it makes my credit card squeal in angst. Why is this so bad you ask? Ummm, maybe because the words self and control don't exist in sentences together in the little space bubble I call my head. But it can't be that bad right? Oh no, course not.....because I only want need this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this,  and this.  No biggie right? I think that maybe if I dress up in THIS, and sing "Santa Baby" by Eartha Kitt long enough, maybe someone will take me up on my offer....

Allright kids, I have to get back to real life, but I'll be baaaack. Here's some musical candy for your ears...

Musique Du Jour:

"Dull Life" - The Yeah Yeah Yeahs
"The Great Salt Lake" - Band of Horses
"Fell In Love" - Alain Clark
"Monsters" - Band of Horses
"Time Won't Let Me Go" -The Bravery
"Song for Calay (Disappear Here)" - Bloc Party
"Animal"- Mike Snow
"Alleycat" -Sherwood
"Number 1" - Goldfrapp
"The Rake's Song" - The Decemberists
"House of Cards" - Radiohead
"Love Letter to Japan"-The Bird and the Bee
"Do You Know Me" and "Edge of Desire"- John Mayer
"Cuddle Fuddle" - Passion Pit

Sunday, December 6, 2009

Snow Pics...Because you Asked and I Deliver...

I'm so tired/grumpy right now I can hardly think straight, but since I love you guys so much and you've been asking to see pics of the pup and the ya go! I'll be back tomorrow with bright eyes and a bushy tail...until then, me and Merlot are going to take it easy! 

This is Sushi...not sure what to do about the snow at this point...

Pretty snow in the garden

pretty stinkin' cute huh?

The pup running around in the snow!

Someone in my neighborhood made these, and this picture was taken at 3 am. I went out, and was driving to the house and actually stopped, got out of the car, and took this picture. I know. I'm insane. 

Friday, December 4, 2009


Bonjour Mes Amis, 

I know you already know some of my weird quirks and obsessions/pet peeves, but here is the icing on the cake. I live in Texas, a great state, but it's HOT down here.It usually doesn't even start getting cold till mid-December, and even at that, there have been Christmases where I was in shorts and a t-shirt going on runs outside. SO, you can imagine my EXTREME AND UTTER JOY this morning when I woke up and it was SNOWING outside. I'm not talking random little snow drops, IT WAS WHITE OUTSIDE. So what did I do? The normal thing anyone would would do...right?

I put on a super cute winter outfit, put the puppy in her puffer vest, got in the car, went to Starbie's and took pictures like a  cracked out Japanese tourist with a brand new Nikon.  My puppy was catching snow on her tongue and it was the freaking cutest thing I have ever seen in my entire life. People...I'm telling you, I had an out of body experience. I was giggling like a 14 year old school girl at a Jonas Brothers concert, running about in my snow boots, putting the dog in the snow, taking pics, sipping my Starbie's and bouncing around listening to my new favorite song, "Happy Birthday Guadalupe" by the Killers. Download it. It's freaking musical gold in your ears. I included the video for you below. You're welcome.

Everything is white outside, and I felt like I was in a Christmas movie. I called/messaged about 19843938 people and screeched over the phone about how flippin' amazing this snow is....needless to say, I'm sure people are scratching their heads wondering why the hell I got so worked up, and how it's possible that I could drunk dial them this early in the day....but I'm not drunk, unless you say I'm drunk on CHRISTMAS CHEER!!! I'm done. I don't see snow much, plus I'm easily amused and I couldn't help'd do the same thing (just nod and smile people)

Finals are in full swing, and I'm proud to say that I am almost done with paper #1, so I'm feeling good! I hope you all have safe, sane, weekends, hopefully my generous dose of crazy was enough to keep you normal, and HAPPY WEEKEND!

Chanson du Jour:

"Happy Birthday Guadalupe" - The Killers

Wednesday, December 2, 2009

BullSheet. A Play on Words.

Everyone is secretly weird. You know this, I know this. There may be more than one reason that makes you secretly weird, but hey, that's life. So I'll tell you one thing that makes me weird. 

I hate sheets. What? Yep, I don't like sleeping under sheets. They weird me out. I feel like I'm covering myself in tissues or something. I don't think they really offer any real warmth, and I tend to get tangled in them, so if I need to make a quick escape, they would hinder me from using my catlike reflexes and getting out alive. Basically, they're a death sentence. 

these sheets could be a deathtrap. pretty, but deadly...

The ONLY way I will sleep under sheets is in a nice hotel, because sometimes they're super high thread count and I'm OK with that, plus it's a hotel, and you only live once right? I have high thread count super soft sheets on my bed right now, and guess what? I've never slept under them. I much prefer the warmth and cuddly-ness of a duvet or comforter...I's weird. My mom is always nagging me to "suck it up and get used to sleeping under sheets like a normal person" but I say "there's no fun in being totally normal." So...if that makes me an abnormal human, then I guess I'll wear it. proudly. The thought of sheets being comfortable, SAFE, delicious, whatever, is pure, unadulterated  BULLSHEET to me...unless, like I said, I'm in a nice hotel. So there you have it, one of the many things that makes me weird. Only now it's not so much a secret.

Speaking of secrets...Last night was the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. I know you all got really excited when you saw me come down the catwalk, and I'm really flattered. It's not easy being that hot, so I appreciate your support! Bahah...the whole show made me want to go run till I ended up in a different state, because that's about how far I'd have to go in order to burn off what I ate over Thanksgiving...Also, WHY IN THE HELL would they air the show AFTER Thanksgiving when everyone feels fat? Air it before while we still feel skinny, it'll prevent a lot of emotional eating and/or crash dieting. Sheesh, what inconsiderate pricks those folks at Vicky's are....

don't I look soooooo hawt?

Ok, moving on. Lovely AUBREY from Made You Blush is having a giveaway! So go on over and check it out, she's got some really fun stuff to give away so make sure you enter!! Plus, her blog is pretty sweet too! 

Any things that make you secretly weird? Spill it. 

Tuesday, December 1, 2009

Traffic Tuesday

Not drug traffic...don't get too excited. Unfortunately, I don't have enough ties to Colombian drug cartels to dish, and then even if I did, I'd probably have a hit out for my I'm going to talk about commuter traffic, and how much I hate it.

This particular cold, grey, misty morning in Houston, it somehow seems to me that every driver in the city administered a frontal lobotomy to themselves and got in their car. I swear. It was like watching 5 year old behind the wheel of the Barbie Jeep. I was fearing for my life, cursing, yelping, and overall very perturbed by the fact that I was being disturbed from my normal tea drinking, music listening/singing commute to work/school. 

This is basically what I saw/experienced this morning.

My mom used to swear that I would die an untimely death due to provoking the wrong person in a road rage fueled dispute. I have to say, I've gotten better. I used to be extremely aggressive, and let's just say it could get ugly from time to time. I'm a calm person, but my tolerance for lobotomized drivers is zip, zero. But....I have a fault. I cannot and WILL NOT honk/rage at elderly drivers. As much as they drive me bonkers (no pun intended) I feel really awful giving them a hard time. Many tell me, "But Jules, they shouldn't be on the road, they're a HAZARD!" And I say, "Nay, I'd rather deal with an 89 year old driving the pace of a tortoise than a drunk driver or an 18 wheeler maneuvering like it's a freaking Miata, at least they're still trying to get around, and at that age, I say it's commendable and kind of adorable." 

The ones that make me the craziest, however, are the teeny boppers. I can't STAND the 16 year old brats with all their windows down, a cigarette held way outside the window so Mom and Dad won't smell the evidence, and their crap music blaring, they literally make my blood boil. Whew, got that off my chest. And maybe it is a tad hypocritical to hate them, because I may or may not have been one of "them" when I blasted my music with the windows down, but HEY, at least my music selection was GOOD, and I didn't smoke. SO there. 

It's really cold in Houston...what? Yes. It's cold, AND they're telling us that there's a chance for snow on Friday...SNOW. IN HOUSTON. Hell has frozen over, pigs are flying, the sky is falling people. All I have to say, is that if it snows, I'll be THAT GIRL prancing about in the middle of it, singing Christmas songs, making snow angels, and generally about as happy as a dog in the dirt. In college, it used to snow in Nashville, and ALP ( my bbfffffffl from Vandy) would make fun of how ridiculous I looked prancing around (maybe sometimes I fell...I'm not used to the snow OK!?) and writing stuff in the snow like "I LOVE LIFE!!!!!!" and taking pics of it. (I didn't really write that, it's an exaggeration, but basically I was like a kid who hadn't taken his Ritalin in 4 weeks running amok like a complete nutter).  See, ALP is from Chicago where it gets so cold your own blood/face freezes pretty much. So she thinks I'm insane for loving snow, I tell her she's a "thief of joy". ("Office" quote.....anyone? Michael Scott/Dwight in case you needed to know)

If I were an animal, this would be me if it snows Friday. That is ONE HAPPY SQUIRREL, let me tell ya.

Today I'm sportin' (yeah, I said it...this is what no sleep and houseguests does to your brain, it's ALMOST like a lobotomy) dark wash skinnies, black v-neck wool sweater, cute black and white scarf, black suede flat boots (Nine West) and a delicious spice orange Michael Kors wool coat! 

Instead of Musique Du Jour that I usually do, I'm going to tell you about a band I have come to L.O.V.E.  Band of Horses. What? Weird name? COOL ASS BAND. 

They got their start in Seattle, and at present find themselves in South Carolina. Some people think they have a sound comparable to the likes of My Morning Jacket, but I think they're better on a whole. They throw in a pinch of rock, a dash of awesome vocal reverb, totally unique vocals, and sometimes haunting melodies. Both albums paint almost impressionist pictures of life, reflecting it, but smudging the edges just a tad to create a delicate dreamlike... whimsy. Check them out, you'll 

like them. love them. bonus points for the pup.

Have a great day people, stay warm and beware of lobotomized drivers!