MEOWMIX

The title is just because. I like saying meowmix.

NOOZ:

1. Super apologies for sucking at blogging. 

2. I GOT A JOB! Member when I was all cray cray scared thinking I was going to have to start stripping? Well, fear not, because I'm officially a grown up! Only downside is  I don't start till August and I need a summer job...ideas? Anybody want to hire yours truly?

3. The past few weeks have been a whirlwind of cray cray but I secretly love that about life. I'm a lucky girl!

ROOLZ:

1. When it's 98 degrees outside and hot as BALLZ, please for the love of Miley WEAR DEODORANT PEOPLE. I was in line getting my passport the other day and damn near keeled over after catching a whiff of what was quite possibly THE.WORST.BO I've ever experienced. Holy holy holy guacamole. If smells could kill I'd be long gone. 

DOUBLE YOU TEA EFF WEDNESDAY:

Whore-moans have ONCE AGAIN kidnapped me for the day and I wish I could crawl into a little ball under my desk and die death by crampage and whore-moan kidnappage. BLAH. I need a Bloody Mary the size of Wisconsin and I need it NOW. Yeah it's only 1pm and I don't careeeee. 

I'll take TEN. And keep 'em comin'....

HAPPY SUMMER LOVAHS!

peaceloveandantiperspirantporfavor, 

lovelovelove, 

Reason #934875398 Why I'm Regina George, but it's ok because it cancels out...

K, so member how I told you I'm pretty much Regina George's twin but not blonde? So I had another Regina moment in class yesterday. There I was, minding my own business, when a classmate started flipping out about the class computer not working and she had to present. So, me being a good person volunteered my laptop for her to use in class. (This was more of a Cady Heron sweet innocent moment, not Regina)...

This was a BIG sacrifice, because I fully intended on using these class hours to read your blogs and play catch up. Fast forward to the end of class, where I get my laptop back and am happily blogging away. I look over. Girl who borrowed my laptop pulls a bottle of "Lubriderm" intensive healing lotion out of her backpack. NO big. I figure she's a fan of moisturizing...in class..weird but not superweird. THEN I SAW IT. She was rubbing lotion on a HUGE HUGE BUMPY RED RASH ON HER HANDS AND ARMS. THE SAME HANDS AND ARMS THAT WERE JUST TOUCHING MY LAPTOP. WHAT THE EFFING EFF.

It was taking EVERYTHING inside of me not to yak, cry, and start flailing my arms hysterically and screaming "OH SICK, OH THIS IS EFFING SICK, HOE EM EFFING GEE NOW I'M GOING TO CATCH EBOLA OR WHATEVER AVIAN FLU GERMS THIS TRICK JUST INFECTED ONTO MY LAPTOP, WHERE IS THE PURELL??! I NEED A GAS MASK. HOE EM GEE WE'RE ALL GONNA DIE, WHAT IF THIS IS FLESH EATING BACTERIA!!!!!!!". I frantically paw through my bag looking for my germ gel, empty half of it onto my hands and arms, all while MAJORLY staring and stink eye-ing rash girl, and then shut my computer off, closed it and PRAYED that my germ gel would kill the rash bugs DEAD. I'm HIGHLY considering taking some foot cream to her next week and saying "this really helps rashes"...or maybe some super strong acid that will burn flesh off...because no one messes with my skin. NO ONE. DOUBLE YOU TEA EFF SKIN RASHES.

MOVING ON. 

My Regina George-ness was later cancelled out by the fact that I am a super human animal whisperer/PETA should hire me to be the animal ambassador or something like that. K so here's the lowdown. I was running yesterday, and I run on this like nature trail thing. It's rillly pretty and relaxing and awesome. So, I'm finishing up my run, when lo and behold, I see a moving object in the grass right by my foot. What was it!? It was this. 

CUTEST MINI-BUNNY IN.THE.WORLD.EVER.SRSLY.EVERRRRR.

Hold the phone. This is THE CUTEST thing I have EVER SEEN IN MY LIFE. So what does Jules-Bear AKA expert animal whisperer do?! I squat on the trail, and whisper to bunny. Bunny DID NOT run away, bunny hopped over to my feet, looked up at me, nibbled some clover, and we spoke bunny LOVE to each other for like ten minutes. I'm serious. People kept stopping, thinking I was hurt or dying of a cramp, only to notice my expertise in animal whispering and would gasp in amazement that bun-bun was hanging out with me, not scared AT ALL. I was so so so pissed that I don't run with my phone, and I SERIOUSLY considered putting bun-bun in my shirt and taking it home, but I remembered that bunnies have heart attacks really easily and I DID NOT want bad animal karma and bunny blood on my hands. So, me and bun-bun parted ways, and I finished my run. CAN I GET A WITNESS!? THE END. But see how my animal kindness cancels out my Regina-ness? It totes does. 

until tomorrow,  peacelove&tinybunnies&prayingidon'thaveebola/avianflu/flesheatingbacteria

lovelovelove, 

M.I.A.

Lovahs,

I'm a bit MIA lately, but everything's cool, just got a lot on my plate right now and sadly, I haven't had time to blog, and I don't want to write pointless posts to fill space...sooo...Mini blogging hiatus, till around Monday, but you never know, I might come back and surprise you! So, I'll leave you with some pics from Keith Urban, St. Patrick's Day, and Black Rebel Motorcycle Club!

He's looking back at me and smiling. No big deal.

BAGPIPES!

Irish Car Bombs. My fave.

What a show. 

The end! 

Since it's Double You Tea Eff Wednesday, here's a morsel. 

I am graduating from my Master's Program in like a month. UMMMM WTF time warp? Has it srsly been two years???? Ahhhh. 

peaceloveandbadassconcerts, 

lovelovelove, 

PEE ESS. I got a new button for the blog! Snag it and put it on your blog and I'll love your FOREVAHHHH.

A Is For Art

Soooo....My homeskillet Cher over at "The Only Girl" really liked my Doodle from a couple days ago, so I told her I'd doodle for her! So here it is...

It's prettier in big form, Cher, I'll e-mail all the copies to you!

So it's Double You Tea Eff Wednesday:

• It's finally warmer here in Houston (yaythankthesweetsweetlord) but it's raining...WTF weather!?
• I really. really. really. need to have a job come May. Srsly. WTF miz miz economy!?
• I'm getting my hair cut today and I can't decide what look to go for...WTF indecision!?

Here are my favorite looks. I tried to find people with my hair texture and length. I want to keep my mermaid locks intact for summer. Because Mermaid Hair is the BEST. I will never tire of Merm Locks. Evah. 

The Contenders:

Sideswept Longer Bangs. I heart this.

My hair is wavy like these, so I like the look? No?

More Mermaid Locks. Love Minka Kelly.

Do those all look the same? Maybe. So I guess I have my answer. All I know is I'm super nervie to get my hair done because I don't trust people with my Mermaid Locks. So wish me lots of LockLove.

OH! I solved the MYSTERY OF THE WHITE POWDER IN JULES BEAR'S OFFICE TOILET!

Yeah. Call me Supah Sleuth. I went to tinkle yesterday, and I saw this woman at the sink, with a huge toiletry bag, clearly had just gotten back from the gym. I realized she goes to the gym during lunch, changes in the stall, and "freshens" her lady bits with baby powder because I SAW the baby powder in her toiletry bag. Did I mention she feels the need to spray nasty body spray? Like A LOT of nasty body spray? BLECHHH. 

I'll take a pic of my new coiffe latah! 

peaceloveandmermaidlocks, 

lovelovelove, 

Double You Tea Eff Wednesday and a Greek Morsel

I've been bad at Double You Tea Eff Wednesday. Sooo, here ya go!

• It "slushed" in Houston yesterday. Not snow. Not rain. Slush. And the only Slush that I like involves Tequila, Lime Juice, Salt, and is green: all other Slush is evil. Especially when it falls from the sky onto my head. WTF Weather!?!
• I went to the bathroom to wash my hands (because I'm convinced the entire campus of my university is germ-infested) and someone was in the stall GRUNTING, CLEARLY CONSTIPATED and taking a very.very. noisy poodle. I didn't know whether to yak, burst into tears,  burst into laughter or a random combination of the three. AND she had her backpack on the ground of the stall which is DIR.TY. WTF ultimate disgustingness!? Take your toilet issues elsewhere honey. And go ahead and toss that backpack. 

And now for a mini sorority story. 

One time, during rush, this girl's family sent us a HUGE sheet cake with her name on it, so we wouldn't forget to put her on our bid list.(Super creepy.) Clearly her family was trying to sabotage our waistlines and give us muffin tops, so guess what?! CUT. (Just kidding...but she didn't end up being in our sorority. Lord know what else they might have sent? Kalteen bars!? If you can name the movie that's from I will kiss you on the face.) This is just an example of how crazy certain moms/families can get when they want their daughter in a certain house. TOTALLY.CRAY.CRAY.

The cake was literally 2 feet long. I kid you NOT. And it was conveniently in our sorority colors, complete with our sorority flower as decoration. Can you say CRAY CRAY?!

PEE.ESS. I was walking into the office this morning, and I'm not pulling your leg when I tell you that an adorable squirrel was standing at the doors, trying to get in. He was so freaking cute! He stood there, looked at me like "Umm...this is where you open up and let me in" and I was all "awww, you wanna go inside sweet baby!?!?" And then I looked and there was someone behind me who heard me. I think I turned purple. But I'm an animal whisperer, so I whispered the squirrel away. Poor thing was probz freezing its bushy little tail off. Now someone in my building will see me as the "crazy chick who talks to squirrels" and I don't care. CAN I GET A WITNESS?!

lovelovelove, 

Jules.

My Bad...

Friends and Lovahs, Lovahs and Friends, 

I'm going to apologize in advance for bad blogger behavior (BBB). I've had a cray-cray week, and I'm trying to get my life together before this weekend. I know you're thinking, "But Jules Bears, what's going on this weekend that's so important you have to be a sucky blogger?" Well friends.......I'M GOING TO EFFING MARDI GRAS. I know...contain yo-selves. I can hardly believe it either. In fact, I don't really believe it, but it's happening apparently. I've NEVER been to Mardi Gras, and of course I am lucky enough to go the year the Saints (Who Dat!?) win the big game....I feel like a lucky little kitten. (yeah I don't know what a lucky little kitten has to do with this...bear with me). So, before I'm absent from the blogosphere, let me tell you some thangs:

Not no, but HELL NO.

• thank you all so much for commenting on my shistey date post. It was miserable, but looking back and laughing is always the best part. PLUS I firmly believe in "If you wanna see the rainbow, you gotta put up with the rain". 
• I will NOT be flashing anyone for beads. I srsly don't care enough to expose myself to randoms, especially because I'm going to be a celebrity and I don't need people digging that shit up from my past.
• I'm allergic to rum, so therefore I'm allergic to "hurricanes" and "hand grenades" and I'd like to REMEMBER my weekend thank you very much.
• I'm secretly nervous I'm going to get lost and abducted and initiated into some weird circus cult. For realz. 
• Any Mardi-Gras advice would be more than welcome!!! Y'all are the best EVAH!
• Double You Tea Eff Wednesdays will be back in FULL SWING next week. 

Double You Tea Eff Wednesday and Silver Linings

Here we are, another hump-day. I swear, if the weather in this town doesn't take a turn towards sunny-ville soon, I'm going to go totally cray-cray and become a hermit and never leave Merlot, Chardonnay, or my pajamas. I've now crossed the line from pale to total translucence, and soon my real identity (vamp) will be exposed. And then I'd have to change the blog to "Life in a Coffin" or "Life at the Blood Bank" and that'd be totes inconvenient. I feel so gross when I'm pale, and that is NOT a good thing. at.all. Sarah will make fun of me for going to "Darque Tan" (pronounced dar-kwa) so I have to wait for the real thing. So now for featured Double Ewe Tea Effs:

uhh...no. Pale is fug. At least for me. PLUS it exposes my vamp-ness, and I don't need the Volturi barking up my tree right now. srsly.

• Houston has officially become Forks, WA, and I am beginning to forget what the sun feels like. WTF weather?
• Technically speaking, I am a "senior" in my Master's Program since it's my last.semester.ever. So, logically, I am suffering from an EXTREME case of "senioritis"...it's only the 3rd week of the term. WTF senioritis coming so early?? (That's what she said...sorry couldn't help myself. Shout out to Carissa and Stacy who both KNOW that TWSS will never.get.old.EVAH.)
• My hair has grown like a million inches in the last few months and my hair usually grows at a snaaaaail's pace. The only person who I trust to cut my hair works in Nashville (Renee at "The Loft" I love you, NO ONE cuts my hair like you do...) If any of you readers live in Houston and know of someone who won't leave me looking like I had a date with a weed-eater, holla atcha girl. WTF lack of skillful, hairdressers in Houston and WTF to those who charge 5 bajillion dollars to cut hair?!

A week ago, I took my new phone into Verizon because I was having trouble figuring it out. The dude who helped me was helpful, but then, today, in the middle of class, I received an email from him where he goes "hey, what's up, how's the new phone treating you :) If you need more help, you know I'll help you out..." Well, see, problem is, I actually meant to go in because I'm still having an issue, and now I'm weirded out that he e-mailed me and included an emoticon...Emoticons weird me out. So now I'm going to have to go to ANOTHER location to ask my questions. Am I weird? Can I Get A Witness?

Random Observation: Sometimes, when you want something, you can't wait for it to jump in your lap. Sometimes, you have to break some rules and just go for it. And sometimes, when you do this, it will make you cry, but sometimes it will make you smile. And when you take a chance and it makes you smile, there is no better feeling. I've had some black clouds over my head the past few weeks, but I finally bit the bullet and got a smile out of it. And even though I don't know how things will REALLY end, one smile is better than another day on my shit-tractor. I may fall on my ass in the long run, but I can't look back and regret not trying.

Chanson Du Jour:

"Resistance"- Muse

"Are You F*cking Kidding Me" - Kate Miller-Heidke (Carrissa, do your effing homework and look this song up)

"Dimestore Diamond" - Gossip

"Cosmic Love" - Florence and the Machine

"Company I Keep"- White Rabbits

"Home"- Edward Sharpe and the Magnetic Zeros

"So Insane"- Discovery


OK so I had to add this: On my way to work this morning, walking through campus in the FREEZING COLD WIND (me.no.likey) I'm fairly certain (like 99.998989999999 % sure) that I saw Russell Brand AND Bubba Sparxx walking amongst the commonfolk. I couldn't fish my camera out of my bag because my claw/hand was frozen to my tea mug. Can I Get A Witness?

Double You Tea Eff Wednesday

It's 2 am. I'm not asleep. I'm not happy about this. I had SUCH a productive day: got a mani, went to the bank, ran some errands, went to class, went to the gym, cooked din, showered, cleaned (cleaning=cleaning while having a personal dance party), and was SO pumped to be in bed by 10 because I have a long day tomorrow. 

I get in bed, pull on my night shades, no big...THEN....I started sweating...like awkwardly hot, rrrrrrrilly hot out of nowhere....THEN I got nosh. Like, not '"Oh this might be slight indigestion" nosh, but like, "where is the nearest receptacle so I can yak in it" nosh. (Nosh=nauseous). For those of you who don't know, I am PETRIFIED of yakking. Like, I will literally cry and hyperventilate. It's weird, but I cannot stand the mere thought of puke. I swear I thought I was preggers for a sec, then realized unless this was the Immaculate Conception, I had nothing to worry about. (TMI?....probs). So here goes Wednesday's post.

P.S. as we speak, my puppy is giving me the "bitch, go back to bed, your typing is keeping me awake" look, and she keeps putting her paw on my arm so as if to say, "I'M SERIOUS WITH THIS SHIT"....(I'm an animal whisperer...I'll tell you more later) and I'm giving her the "bitch (literally) don't you know I'd love to be asleep right now, but I've got a case of the rilllllly bad nosh and need to trick my brain into feeling better, so don't look at me with your cute furry face" look. And now for Double You Tea Eff Wednesday,  uber nosh style

• My body currently hates me and is trying to make me yak. WTF body?! 
• I went ahead and got the Droid, and I love it, but I secretly miss my blackberry and MIGHT switch back if I can't figure this phone out... WTF indecisiveness!?
• There is a certain situation that is bugging the eff out of me this week, and I can't fix it because it involves another person who isn't trying to fix it. WTF life?!
• My puppy is so freaking adorable I can't stand it....WTF that was random
• It REALLY needs to start getting hot out so I can lay by the pool, because I'm nearing translucence (Edward Cullen style) and I'm too broke to go to the tanning bed, slash I'm quitting the tanning bed. WTF winter?!

So, I've been cataloging and mentally recording "Can I Get A Witness" moments on campus, when I came across the MOTHERLOAD. I went to the gym. I mean it was ridic. It was like fishing with dynamite. For realz. I can't even write them all because it'd take too long and you'd skim this post, and then I'd have to hurt you, and because my nosh-ness is fading and turning into post-nosh tiredness...  I digress. THEREFORE, I commence:

• At the gym, there was a girl working out with her hair down, 'styled' ( I use the term loosely bc while SHE might've thought it was 'done' it looked more like a cat had used her head as a scratching post) and blue eyeshadow covering her ENTIRE eye lid, like this chick. Can I Get A Witness?

Srsly. It was this bad, but worse. 

• A girl at the gym was working out in a sports bra that was 9 sizes too small, and zebra print leggings. zebra print. leggings. Holy unflattering-ness. Can I Get A Witness?
• Another girl was wearing lemon yellow bootie shorts and a really tight white top. No big right? Ohhhh no, but the shorts were see-through, I could almost see her "hoo-ha", and she was doing these really creepy 'stretches' that looked like they belonged on stage at a place called "The Men's Club" and all the while, she's staring at herself in the mirror giving these seductive gazes....Can I Get A Witness?????

I think the worst of the nosh is over, though I'm still super weirded out as to WHY IN THE HELL it happened in the first place. Plus I'm pretty sure my puppy is going to kill me in my sleep if I don't stop typing soon (We blog in bed when we're at home...we=me+pup). 

Musique Du Jour:

GO LOOK AT THE 2010 COACHELLA LINE-UP AND GASP BECAUSE PRETTY MUCH ALL OF MY FAVORITE BANDS ARE PLAYING, and if you don't know any of them, IMMEDIATELY go to www.lala.com and START GETTING TO KNOW THEM. I will dedicate an entire post later on about Coachella because it's THAT amazing. Word. 

lovelovelove,

the super nosh chick who is getting stink eyed by her pup




Pee Ess:


I got my 5 year diary in the mail from Jaeve+Things, and I'm in lurve with it! Everyone needs one! Here's a pic of the journal, plus a little note I wrote to paste in the front...it's kinda cheesy, but I guess I was in a cheesy mood. Holla. 

Double You Tea Eff Wednesday and "Can I Get A Witness?"

Lovers and Friends, Friends and Lovers,

I'm chock-full of juicy gems for you and so it begins with a new cult tradition. "Double You Tea Eff Wednesday" (which will obviously be happening on Wednesdays, and because it's more fun to spell it that way). Basically, I will be sharing with you some random facts, observations, personal habits, and other juicy fruits of my life that make me go, "DOUBLE YOU TEA EFF!" (WTF, in other words for you more visual learners). I've blogged in the past about some 'double you tea eff' moments, and since I feel like these happen often, it's going to be on the reg now. You're welcome. So here goes:

-I've been so so so tired the past three days, and when I finally climb into bed for night-night, my body's all "hey, let's get up and dance, I've got energy now" and I'm all "you're a big jerk, body" and I toss and turn for 2 hours....WTF body!?

-I thought that boys would get the hint if my responses to their texts and calls were monosyllabic words like "yep" "nope" and "cool" (I even threw in an "I'm leaving town this weekend and won't be by my phone...which was totes not true)...apparently not. This means I have to sack up and say "I'm just not that into you" and I'm kind of emotionally non-adept in those situations.....WTF boys!?

-My VS swimsuit I ordered will only be arriving to me in half. The top is back-ordered till February 24th...this means I can't try it on daily and stare at myself till it looks hawt. WTF Vickie's!? 
- I never watched Gossip Girl, I always was so poz it would be a terrible show, and a waste of my life. Well, thanks to Netflix, I'm a little bit addicted. I'm pissed. WTF Netflix and GG? (Sidenote to Carissa...I am also addicted to Dexter...this is very.very.bad.)

And now, I have another special treat. "Can I Get A Witness". Basically, as I've already shared with you in previous posts, the campus I attend grad school at is.....interesting. There are daily occurrences that make me die a little. So, I need to share them, because some of them are once in a lifetime things. I will take pictures when I can, but sometimes these creatures and moments are fleeting and elusive, so a mental pic will have to do. Capiche? Here goes:

-Today I was driving into the parking lot, and standing on the corner was a mid-30's man, wearing aviators and a porn stache. I think he was trying for the "hipster" vibe and accidentally crossed over into "dirty perv"...My reaction: simultaneous shiver and cringe, "shinge" or "criver"....and I almost hit the curb. Can I Get A Witness?

they might even be related. srsly.

-I was walking into the office, when a girl walked past me, and I AM NOT KIDDING when I say she smelled EXACTLY like grape Dimetapp. My mouth even watered...NOT in a good way. She literally must've bathed in Grape Dimetapp. Can I Get A Witness?

- Yesterday, I was waiting for the elevator, and some dude was waiting next to me. He was the "manly" man, in a football jersey, obviously spends way too much time at the gym, and is probs on the juice if you know what I mean. I gave him the "ew, you're creepy" glare, and then I had to share oxygen with him in the elevator. When we get in the elevator, there are two other randos in it. We get in, and I shit you not, his Ipod is BLASTING Lady Gaga's "paparazzi"....I was doing the whole cough/laugh and everyone else in the elevator kept awkwardly looking at each other and cough/laughing while 'tough guy' stared on ahead...Can I Get A Witness?

musique du jour:

The Artist "Hot Chip". I'd heard them before, but I now am a full-fledged lovah of their stuff. Try them out, you'll love. Trust.


Here's my fave song by them for now...giggidy.