- It "slushed" in Houston yesterday. Not snow. Not rain. Slush. And the only Slush that I like involves Tequila, Lime Juice, Salt, and is green: all other Slush is evil. Especially when it falls from the sky onto my head. WTF Weather!?!
- I went to the bathroom to wash my hands (because I'm convinced the entire campus of my university is germ-infested) and someone was in the stall GRUNTING, CLEARLY CONSTIPATED and taking a very.very. noisy poodle. I didn't know whether to yak, burst into tears, burst into laughter or a random combination of the three. AND she had her backpack on the ground of the stall which is DIR.TY. WTF ultimate disgustingness!? Take your toilet issues elsewhere honey. And go ahead and toss that backpack.
And now for a mini sorority story.
One time, during rush, this girl's family sent us a HUGE sheet cake with her name on it, so we wouldn't forget to put her on our bid list.(Super creepy.) Clearly her family was trying to sabotage our waistlines and give us muffin tops, so guess what?! CUT. (Just kidding...but she didn't end up being in our sorority. Lord know what else they might have sent? Kalteen bars!? If you can name the movie that's from I will kiss you on the face.) This is just an example of how crazy certain moms/families can get when they want their daughter in a certain house. TOTALLY.CRAY.CRAY.
The cake was literally 2 feet long. I kid you NOT. And it was conveniently in our sorority colors, complete with our sorority flower as decoration. Can you say CRAY CRAY?!
PEE.ESS. I was walking into the office this morning, and I'm not pulling your leg when I tell you that an adorable squirrel was standing at the doors, trying to get in. He was so freaking cute! He stood there, looked at me like "Umm...this is where you open up and let me in" and I was all "awww, you wanna go inside sweet baby!?!?" And then I looked and there was someone behind me who heard me. I think I turned purple. But I'm an animal whisperer, so I whispered the squirrel away. Poor thing was probz freezing its bushy little tail off. Now someone in my building will see me as the "crazy chick who talks to squirrels" and I don't care. CAN I GET A WITNESS?!