Posts
- It "slushed" in Houston yesterday. Not snow. Not rain. Slush. And the only Slush that I like involves Tequila, Lime Juice, Salt, and is green: all other Slush is evil. Especially when it falls from the sky onto my head. WTF Weather!?!
- I went to the bathroom to wash my hands (because I'm convinced the entire campus of my university is germ-infested) and someone was in the stall GRUNTING, CLEARLY CONSTIPATED and taking a very.very. noisy poodle. I didn't know whether to yak, burst into tears, burst into laughter or a random combination of the three. AND she had her backpack on the ground of the stall which is DIR.TY. WTF ultimate disgustingness!? Take your toilet issues elsewhere honey. And go ahead and toss that backpack.
And now for a mini sorority story.
One time, during rush, this girl's family sent us a HUGE sheet cake with her name on it, so we wouldn't forget to put her on our bid list.(Super creepy.) Clearly her family was trying to sabotage our waistlines and give us muffin tops, so guess what?! CUT. (Just kidding...but she didn't end up being in our sorority. Lord know what else they might have sent? Kalteen bars!? If you can name the movie that's from I will kiss you on the face.) This is just an example of how crazy certain moms/families can get when they want their daughter in a certain house. TOTALLY.CRAY.CRAY.
The cake was literally 2 feet long. I kid you NOT. And it was conveniently in our sorority colors, complete with our sorority flower as decoration. Can you say CRAY CRAY?!
PEE.ESS. I was walking into the office this morning, and I'm not pulling your leg when I tell you that an adorable squirrel was standing at the doors, trying to get in. He was so freaking cute! He stood there, looked at me like "Umm...this is where you open up and let me in" and I was all "awww, you wanna go inside sweet baby!?!?" And then I looked and there was someone behind me who heard me. I think I turned purple. But I'm an animal whisperer, so I whispered the squirrel away. Poor thing was probz freezing its bushy little tail off. Now someone in my building will see me as the "crazy chick who talks to squirrels" and I don't care. CAN I GET A WITNESS?!
lovelovelove,
Jules.
First off, i love the bathroom stall thing, Im SO like you and i would have laughed.
ReplyDeleteSecondly, the whole sorority cake thing is HILARIOUS.
Kalteen bars = mean girls... KISS ON THE FACE!
I knew it was Mean Girls too!!!!! And yeah, backpack on the floor is naaaaaasty.
ReplyDeleteEww on the restroom person. That is disgusting!
ReplyDeleteThe Kalteen bars were probably the funniest part of the sabatoge in Mean Girls. Love that movie!
Mean Girls is one of the best movies ever I love how she has to wear sweats (gasp) as a result of the kalteen bars.
ReplyDeleteI too was in a sorority (Alpha Phi) and rush was always my favorite....there is something about having hundreds of girls kissing your ass that makes ya feel good
OMG you are SO funny!!! the bathroom story is SICK!!! ewwww! and the backpack on the floor. gross!
ReplyDeleteomg and the cake story is amazing. cray cray! love it!
xoxo
Right back at ya....following!
ReplyDeleteI talk to animals all the time, too! I believe they hear me!
ReplyDeleteThanks for stopping by and following my blog! I'm following you now, too!
This has nothing to do with your post. Except that it's WTF Wednesday in my Marketing class.
ReplyDeleteMy professor is wearing a white button down. The buttons are splitting. Like 2 inches apart. & she is wearing a leopard print bra. I'm also pretty sure there's a pink bow on it too. PLEASE COME BE MY WITNESS. This is so inapprops.
I secretly LOVE Mean Girls. Ok, maybe it's not even a secret. LOVE that movie.
ReplyDeleteTotal barfaroma to the gal in your restroom. I know peeps gotta go in public sometimes, but I really don't have the gag reflex to handle it!!
ReplyDeleteThis post just totally brought back all of my memories from rush. Oh the crazy things people would do to get noticed. I remember having to "study" the girls and discussing them and feeling like such a biznich.
And I dont see anything wrong with you talking to a squirrel! I should talk to more... I feel remorseful. Did I tell you about the time my car killed a bird and a squirrel in one day by accident ???
That cake thing is totally hilarious!
ReplyDeletethey are these weird Swedish nutrition bars that my mum uses to lose weight.. They burn carbs. Just burn all your carbs.
ReplyDeletePucker up baby cos here I come!!!
xx
the grunting i'm okay with (hey we all do it)...the backpack on the dirty bathroom STD infested floor, on the other hand? sickening.
ReplyDeletedude kalteen bars, duh! mean girls.
I remember that cake!!!
ReplyDeletecreeptastic.
ReplyDelete