Spring Break Smorgasbord....

Kitty Kats, 

I've been super busy drinking, partying, sunning, WORKING REALLY HARD, the past few days, so I've just got to give you some morsels...I'll be back in full hurricane force this week! 

• I created a new cocktail with one of my fave bartenders this weekend. I told him I wanted something that tasted like a chocolate-y candy bar in my mouth (that's what she said) so he mixed equal parts (by equal parts I mean LOTS) Kahlua, Amaretto, and then a splash of soda. DELISH. I drank two. Then I switched to beer because I had already had champers, then I had a guh-rrrreat night. The end. I named it the "candy bar". Creativity at its best....except not really.
• My PIC (partner in crime) told me something that made me almost kinda pee in my pants. We were discussing this recent troll in my life (troll=douche bag) and she said "you know what?! He's totes a one trick pony"....basically "one trick pony" is now my favorite insult. evah. 
• It's GORGEOUS in Houston. SO I've been outside as much as possible, and I'm now a few shades darker! Inner Chihuahua is REEEEE-JOICING. 
• I will be posting pics this week of my outfit from my big day Friday. 
• Pauly D from the Jersey Shore was in Houston this weekend. I KNOW that "At Least I'm Skinny"(pls. blog more about Jabroni-ness..The suspense is KILLING me)  is SUPER jeal. But I didn't see him. But we shared the same city oxygen or something like that...
• Fate/Destiny is a cray cray thing. Ask Carissa. I told her all about my weird coincidence this weekend. Things fall into place. Always. Don't tempt fate. Basically. 
• I'm severely addicted to Friday Night Lights. I even had a dream about me and Tim Riggins. I'll spare you the deets. 
• TODAY. I LAID OUT IN THE SUN. In a bathing suit. With beer(s). And music. HEAVEN.ON.EARTH. Once again, inner chihuahua NIRVANA. 

love y'all. 

peacelovesunshineandtimriggins, 

lovelovelove, 

I'm NOT On A Boat, I'm In A Cave, And I HATE It...

So I finish my hell week at school/work and I'm so stoked to party and celebrate, but NOOOOOO, my effing immune system decided to shut down. So, I will probably not remember what this post says since I'm fairly certain there's a rabid wolverine clawing around my face, ripping out my eardrums, and shoving it's razorsharp claw down my throat and up my schnoz. I have a nasty. NASTY. bitch of a cold. And it hates me. And I hate it. It's war. 

I'm a sick monster. My hair hurts. 

I'm one of those people with a high pain tolerance, but when I get sick, I turn into a huge HUGE baby. I'm all, "I want my mom, wait no, I want juice, wait, no, I want sorbet for my throat, wait, no, I want tea, somebody pet my head, wait no, my hair hurts, wait, no, so do my eyelashes, wait no, someone snuggle me, I swear I'm not contagious, wait, no, you're getting too close, stop breathing on me, wait, no, come back, don't leave me alone, wait, no, bring me some ginger ale, wait, no, make sure it's DIET!" GET THE PICTURE??? I'M A HUGE PAIN IN THE ASS!So I've been writhing and moaning in my bed, watching Gossip Girl, listening to crybaby music and feeling sorry for myself, and going through Puffs Kleenex with lotion AND Vicks, and chugging juice and taking herbal supplements like crazy. I wouldn't be surprised if I sprouted roots. If I'm not better by this weekend, I will HURT someone. Srsly. 

So, since I'm alllll kinds of cracked out, here's some stuff for your eyeballs. 


Exhibit A: This is something my bestest besticle beefer sent me today, and something that I KNOW my kid will totally do someday, and I will give them A HIGH FIVE. Because it's awesome. 

"another student made the comment 'you need to push it in further' (innocent comment) and Dalton added 'that's what she said".....WHATEVER, THE KID THAT SAID "YOU NEED TO PUSH IT IN FURTHER" WAS TOTES ASKING FOR IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Random Fact:

I have never peed in my pants. Not even a little bit. I'm kind of pissed off (no pun intended) that this hasn't happened to me. I mean, I've fallen in sewers, been driven home in a tourbus at 3 am, and plenty of other awful/awesome stuff, but have NEVER peed in my pants. So I'm kind of lying every time I say "hoe em gee I just peed myself laughing so hard' because I NEVER HAVE. And I'm sad about that a little. Is that weird? Is it the drugz talking? MAYBE. Have you ever tinkled in your pantalones???? SPILL. not literally. but srsly. SPILL.

Jules Bear's waaaah-waaaah, cry me a river I'm sick and feeling pitiful playlist:

" I Can Feel A Hot One" Manchester Orchestra

"The Ice Is Getting Thinner" Death Cab For Cutie

"Pretty Boy Floyd" Kid Loco

"Velvet" The Big Pink

"Botan" Peder