'Napped....

Ok Lovahs, I'm so so so sorry, I've been a bad bad blogger, like rilllly bad. But I have reasons.

A. I was in Austin this past weekend with my fam. I love my fam. Let me tell you, there is no better feeling than your 3 year old niece staring up at you and saying "I love you Aunt Julie, are you going to live here? Can we do makeovers and can you braid my hair"...PRICELESS. Also, top 10 life moments: Driving in the car, my sister in law puts on a "sing-a-long CD" and of course, Miley Cyrus "Party in the USA" comes on. I'm ecstatic, because in college, people called me Miley sometimes (not kidding) and my 3 year old niece KNOWS THE WORDS. I was SO PROUD. But then she corrected me, it's not "And a Jay-Z song was on.." It's actually, "And A Chinese Song was on..." So there you have it. Amazing.

B. I had a real live panic attack Monday afternoon. Of course I was in bumper to bumper traffic on the FREEWAY,so I couldn't pull over, so I was hyperventilating in my car, feeling like I was gonna yak, and trying not to basically completely melt down. Yeah. It happened. Haven't had one of those in 7 years.

C. I'm in the ROUGH part of my semester, which means I've been studying my face off, and have NO free time. Which is why I can't be a good blogger. I'm so sorry! I'll be back soon!

D. I got 'napped by whore-moans again. I'm not really sure if I'm totally back, but this time they came with a vengeance. NO BUENO.

So, I love y'all, I PROMISE I'll be back soon, please don't hate me or forget about me! And just for your viewing pleasure, I'm including a video of the monkey riding the dog I told you about from the rodeo.

peaceloveandMileyCyrus,

lovelovelove,

Double You Tea Eff Wednesday and a Greek Morsel

I've been bad at Double You Tea Eff Wednesday. Sooo, here ya go!

• It "slushed" in Houston yesterday. Not snow. Not rain. Slush. And the only Slush that I like involves Tequila, Lime Juice, Salt, and is green: all other Slush is evil. Especially when it falls from the sky onto my head. WTF Weather!?!
• I went to the bathroom to wash my hands (because I'm convinced the entire campus of my university is germ-infested) and someone was in the stall GRUNTING, CLEARLY CONSTIPATED and taking a very.very. noisy poodle. I didn't know whether to yak, burst into tears,  burst into laughter or a random combination of the three. AND she had her backpack on the ground of the stall which is DIR.TY. WTF ultimate disgustingness!? Take your toilet issues elsewhere honey. And go ahead and toss that backpack. 

And now for a mini sorority story. 

One time, during rush, this girl's family sent us a HUGE sheet cake with her name on it, so we wouldn't forget to put her on our bid list.(Super creepy.) Clearly her family was trying to sabotage our waistlines and give us muffin tops, so guess what?! CUT. (Just kidding...but she didn't end up being in our sorority. Lord know what else they might have sent? Kalteen bars!? If you can name the movie that's from I will kiss you on the face.) This is just an example of how crazy certain moms/families can get when they want their daughter in a certain house. TOTALLY.CRAY.CRAY.

The cake was literally 2 feet long. I kid you NOT. And it was conveniently in our sorority colors, complete with our sorority flower as decoration. Can you say CRAY CRAY?!

PEE.ESS. I was walking into the office this morning, and I'm not pulling your leg when I tell you that an adorable squirrel was standing at the doors, trying to get in. He was so freaking cute! He stood there, looked at me like "Umm...this is where you open up and let me in" and I was all "awww, you wanna go inside sweet baby!?!?" And then I looked and there was someone behind me who heard me. I think I turned purple. But I'm an animal whisperer, so I whispered the squirrel away. Poor thing was probz freezing its bushy little tail off. Now someone in my building will see me as the "crazy chick who talks to squirrels" and I don't care. CAN I GET A WITNESS?!

lovelovelove, 

Jules.

Double You Tea Eff Wednesday

It's 2 am. I'm not asleep. I'm not happy about this. I had SUCH a productive day: got a mani, went to the bank, ran some errands, went to class, went to the gym, cooked din, showered, cleaned (cleaning=cleaning while having a personal dance party), and was SO pumped to be in bed by 10 because I have a long day tomorrow. 

I get in bed, pull on my night shades, no big...THEN....I started sweating...like awkwardly hot, rrrrrrrilly hot out of nowhere....THEN I got nosh. Like, not '"Oh this might be slight indigestion" nosh, but like, "where is the nearest receptacle so I can yak in it" nosh. (Nosh=nauseous). For those of you who don't know, I am PETRIFIED of yakking. Like, I will literally cry and hyperventilate. It's weird, but I cannot stand the mere thought of puke. I swear I thought I was preggers for a sec, then realized unless this was the Immaculate Conception, I had nothing to worry about. (TMI?....probs). So here goes Wednesday's post.

P.S. as we speak, my puppy is giving me the "bitch, go back to bed, your typing is keeping me awake" look, and she keeps putting her paw on my arm so as if to say, "I'M SERIOUS WITH THIS SHIT"....(I'm an animal whisperer...I'll tell you more later) and I'm giving her the "bitch (literally) don't you know I'd love to be asleep right now, but I've got a case of the rilllllly bad nosh and need to trick my brain into feeling better, so don't look at me with your cute furry face" look. And now for Double You Tea Eff Wednesday,  uber nosh style

• My body currently hates me and is trying to make me yak. WTF body?! 
• I went ahead and got the Droid, and I love it, but I secretly miss my blackberry and MIGHT switch back if I can't figure this phone out... WTF indecisiveness!?
• There is a certain situation that is bugging the eff out of me this week, and I can't fix it because it involves another person who isn't trying to fix it. WTF life?!
• My puppy is so freaking adorable I can't stand it....WTF that was random
• It REALLY needs to start getting hot out so I can lay by the pool, because I'm nearing translucence (Edward Cullen style) and I'm too broke to go to the tanning bed, slash I'm quitting the tanning bed. WTF winter?!

So, I've been cataloging and mentally recording "Can I Get A Witness" moments on campus, when I came across the MOTHERLOAD. I went to the gym. I mean it was ridic. It was like fishing with dynamite. For realz. I can't even write them all because it'd take too long and you'd skim this post, and then I'd have to hurt you, and because my nosh-ness is fading and turning into post-nosh tiredness...  I digress. THEREFORE, I commence:

• At the gym, there was a girl working out with her hair down, 'styled' ( I use the term loosely bc while SHE might've thought it was 'done' it looked more like a cat had used her head as a scratching post) and blue eyeshadow covering her ENTIRE eye lid, like this chick. Can I Get A Witness?

Srsly. It was this bad, but worse. 

• A girl at the gym was working out in a sports bra that was 9 sizes too small, and zebra print leggings. zebra print. leggings. Holy unflattering-ness. Can I Get A Witness?
• Another girl was wearing lemon yellow bootie shorts and a really tight white top. No big right? Ohhhh no, but the shorts were see-through, I could almost see her "hoo-ha", and she was doing these really creepy 'stretches' that looked like they belonged on stage at a place called "The Men's Club" and all the while, she's staring at herself in the mirror giving these seductive gazes....Can I Get A Witness?????

I think the worst of the nosh is over, though I'm still super weirded out as to WHY IN THE HELL it happened in the first place. Plus I'm pretty sure my puppy is going to kill me in my sleep if I don't stop typing soon (We blog in bed when we're at home...we=me+pup). 

Musique Du Jour:

GO LOOK AT THE 2010 COACHELLA LINE-UP AND GASP BECAUSE PRETTY MUCH ALL OF MY FAVORITE BANDS ARE PLAYING, and if you don't know any of them, IMMEDIATELY go to www.lala.com and START GETTING TO KNOW THEM. I will dedicate an entire post later on about Coachella because it's THAT amazing. Word. 

lovelovelove,

the super nosh chick who is getting stink eyed by her pup




Pee Ess:


I got my 5 year diary in the mail from Jaeve+Things, and I'm in lurve with it! Everyone needs one! Here's a pic of the journal, plus a little note I wrote to paste in the front...it's kinda cheesy, but I guess I was in a cheesy mood. Holla.