MEOWMIX

The title is just because. I like saying meowmix.

NOOZ:

1. Super apologies for sucking at blogging. 

2. I GOT A JOB! Member when I was all cray cray scared thinking I was going to have to start stripping? Well, fear not, because I'm officially a grown up! Only downside is  I don't start till August and I need a summer job...ideas? Anybody want to hire yours truly?

3. The past few weeks have been a whirlwind of cray cray but I secretly love that about life. I'm a lucky girl!

ROOLZ:

1. When it's 98 degrees outside and hot as BALLZ, please for the love of Miley WEAR DEODORANT PEOPLE. I was in line getting my passport the other day and damn near keeled over after catching a whiff of what was quite possibly THE.WORST.BO I've ever experienced. Holy holy holy guacamole. If smells could kill I'd be long gone. 

DOUBLE YOU TEA EFF WEDNESDAY:

Whore-moans have ONCE AGAIN kidnapped me for the day and I wish I could crawl into a little ball under my desk and die death by crampage and whore-moan kidnappage. BLAH. I need a Bloody Mary the size of Wisconsin and I need it NOW. Yeah it's only 1pm and I don't careeeee. 

I'll take TEN. And keep 'em comin'....

HAPPY SUMMER LOVAHS!

peaceloveandantiperspirantporfavor, 

lovelovelove, 

Dodo Birds and Smiling Cats...

Hoe Em Gee, I'm back! I fell of the edge of the world for a spell, thanks to my faulty immune system and a little too much school and work. BUT I'm back and ready to rock!

So am I weird because I forgot to watch the Oscar's? Yes. But it gives me something to research when I'm bored today. Is it weird that instead of watching the Oscar's I went to see Alice In Wonderland? Hell to the no, because AIW was/is one of my favorite books of all time, and AIW is my favorite Disney movie EVAH, with The Little Merm coming in at second place. Since I've never really been the type to do hallucinogenic drugs, AIW takes me to a place that opium/LSD/acid/shrooms could potentially take me, and without the hangover! Curiouser and curiouser!

Moving on. I went to see Tyrone Wells Friday night with a bag-full of tissues for my nasty cold, and he was A-MAZING. Srsly. I'm slightly pissed he's married, but whatevs. Tony Lucca opened for him, and lo and behold I have another musical crush. He's rah-some. What an amazing show, PLUS he played alllll the songs I wanted to hear, so permasmile was ON, despite the sniffles and face pain (sinus infection..blech)

K, so my face still hurts a little. But that doesn't mean I can't give you some GREEK salad today. I will not name any specific names or houses, so peeps don't get offended or what not. 

• A certain SOMEONE (me) was blacklisted from a certain house because a certain SOMEONE (me) made out with an upperclassman's boyfriend. In a certain SOMEONE'S  defense (mine), I didn't know he had a girlfriend PLUS he was a senior, and the prez of his frat, and SMOKIN' hot. How was I going to say no to that? It was worth the stink eye she gave me for a year. Plus he still called me for three years after. Who's the boss now?
• Certain houses would put the "ugly" or "fat" girls on "kitchen duty" during rush. True story. 
• A certain house had a "troll patrol" committee where "troll-ish" girls were weeded out. There may or may not even have been a "troll patrol" water gun that was passed on to new crops of "troll patrol" committees. 
• Certain houses labeled girls that got into the house one year, but turned out to totally suck "crackslippers". Meaning they somehow snuck past "troll patrol" or were legacies that we couldn't get rid of no matter how hard they tried to dig dirt up. 
• Certain houses had to text message names of freshman girls to the rush chair while out and about partying to rank/judge them as they met them, and to keep notes/tabs. Ex: Upperclassman meets "Skanky McSkankerson" at a tailgate. Upperclassman text messages the rush chair (usually not sober) "Hoe Em Gee, just met a frosh named 'Skanky McSkankerson'... she's pretty, but WAY-sted and her dress flew up at the tailgate and I saw her flirt with someone's bf". 

And there you have it. S-E-C- sorostitution at its best. Amazing. Because no one does it better than the S-E-C. No one. 

This weekend, I was at a crawfish boil with some amigos, and I spotted with my eagle eye vision a guy I had gone on a mizmiz date with several months ago. Our parting words on the date were, 

Him: "So when can I see you again?"

Me: "Uhh...well...I'm gonna be out of town for the next 4 weekends, and I stay pretty busy...soo...I'll call you?" (funny sidenote...I ran into him two weeks later...oopsies)

So, needless to say, I pretended I didn't know who he was, despite the fact that he was CIRCLING my group of friend for 2 HOURS. Ughh. Can I Get A Witness?

Now be on your merry way and listen to some Santigold and Sparklehorse while you're at it. 

peaceloveandcheshirecats, 

lovelovelove, 

Jules.

I'm NOT On A Boat, I'm In A Cave, And I HATE It...

So I finish my hell week at school/work and I'm so stoked to party and celebrate, but NOOOOOO, my effing immune system decided to shut down. So, I will probably not remember what this post says since I'm fairly certain there's a rabid wolverine clawing around my face, ripping out my eardrums, and shoving it's razorsharp claw down my throat and up my schnoz. I have a nasty. NASTY. bitch of a cold. And it hates me. And I hate it. It's war. 

I'm a sick monster. My hair hurts. 

I'm one of those people with a high pain tolerance, but when I get sick, I turn into a huge HUGE baby. I'm all, "I want my mom, wait no, I want juice, wait, no, I want sorbet for my throat, wait, no, I want tea, somebody pet my head, wait no, my hair hurts, wait, no, so do my eyelashes, wait no, someone snuggle me, I swear I'm not contagious, wait, no, you're getting too close, stop breathing on me, wait, no, come back, don't leave me alone, wait, no, bring me some ginger ale, wait, no, make sure it's DIET!" GET THE PICTURE??? I'M A HUGE PAIN IN THE ASS!So I've been writhing and moaning in my bed, watching Gossip Girl, listening to crybaby music and feeling sorry for myself, and going through Puffs Kleenex with lotion AND Vicks, and chugging juice and taking herbal supplements like crazy. I wouldn't be surprised if I sprouted roots. If I'm not better by this weekend, I will HURT someone. Srsly. 

So, since I'm alllll kinds of cracked out, here's some stuff for your eyeballs. 


Exhibit A: This is something my bestest besticle beefer sent me today, and something that I KNOW my kid will totally do someday, and I will give them A HIGH FIVE. Because it's awesome. 

"another student made the comment 'you need to push it in further' (innocent comment) and Dalton added 'that's what she said".....WHATEVER, THE KID THAT SAID "YOU NEED TO PUSH IT IN FURTHER" WAS TOTES ASKING FOR IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Random Fact:

I have never peed in my pants. Not even a little bit. I'm kind of pissed off (no pun intended) that this hasn't happened to me. I mean, I've fallen in sewers, been driven home in a tourbus at 3 am, and plenty of other awful/awesome stuff, but have NEVER peed in my pants. So I'm kind of lying every time I say "hoe em gee I just peed myself laughing so hard' because I NEVER HAVE. And I'm sad about that a little. Is that weird? Is it the drugz talking? MAYBE. Have you ever tinkled in your pantalones???? SPILL. not literally. but srsly. SPILL.

Jules Bear's waaaah-waaaah, cry me a river I'm sick and feeling pitiful playlist:

" I Can Feel A Hot One" Manchester Orchestra

"The Ice Is Getting Thinner" Death Cab For Cutie

"Pretty Boy Floyd" Kid Loco

"Velvet" The Big Pink

"Botan" Peder