Wednesday, March 31, 2010


Ok Lovahs, I'm so so so sorry, I've been a bad bad blogger, like rilllly bad. But I have reasons.

A. I was in Austin this past weekend with my fam. I love my fam. Let me tell you, there is no better feeling than your 3 year old niece staring up at you and saying "I love you Aunt Julie, are you going to live here? Can we do makeovers and can you braid my hair"...PRICELESS. Also, top 10 life moments: Driving in the car, my sister in law puts on a "sing-a-long CD" and of course, Miley Cyrus "Party in the USA" comes on. I'm ecstatic, because in college, people called me Miley sometimes (not kidding) and my 3 year old niece KNOWS THE WORDS. I was SO PROUD. But then she corrected me, it's not "And a Jay-Z song was on.." It's actually, "And A Chinese Song was on..." So there you have it. Amazing.

B. I had a real live panic attack Monday afternoon. Of course I was in bumper to bumper traffic on the FREEWAY,so I couldn't pull over, so I was hyperventilating in my car, feeling like I was gonna yak, and trying not to basically completely melt down. Yeah. It happened. Haven't had one of those in 7 years.

C. I'm in the ROUGH part of my semester, which means I've been studying my face off, and have NO free time. Which is why I can't be a good blogger. I'm so sorry! I'll be back soon!
D. I got 'napped by whore-moans again. I'm not really sure if I'm totally back, but this time they came with a vengeance. NO BUENO.

So, I love y'all, I PROMISE I'll be back soon, please don't hate me or forget about me! And just for your viewing pleasure, I'm including a video of the monkey riding the dog I told you about from the rodeo.


Wednesday, March 24, 2010

K Wait...Screw the Aforementioned Post...

Ok so I know I said I was taking a mini-hiatus...but I figured I'd entertain you...because that's what I do...

Member when I was all "Hoe em gee I'm obsessed with Friday Night Lights and Tim Riggins??!"'s gotten worse. I'm not kidding. I sit at work/in class all day wondering what's going to happen next, wondering if Tim will dump Lyla and choose his soulmate (me). Wondering if the Panthers will make it to state. Wondering where Tammy Taylor got those aviator sunglasses she's BAD people. And now I'm all angsty because I finished season three on instant Netflix and I have to WAIT for season 4 to be delivered via snail mail. I

I had a dream(s) about me and Riggins. We are married. We are happy. He goes to college, graduates, and now he's in a band and he writes allllll these songs about ME. I need help. SRSLY. Help me. 

Has anyone ever been this obsessionated? HELP.

Where'd she get those? I want.

He's mine. All. Mine.

Don't Be Jealous. It's fate. We're meant to be.

what you can't see is me running up behind her to TACKLE THE LITTLE SKANK. Hands.Off.NOW.

DO I need to attend TV addicts anonymous? Is this my subconscious mind telling me that my fate really is to be with Tim? Ahhhhh. Help. This warrants an episode of "Intervention". Srsly. 




I'm a bit MIA lately, but everything's cool, just got a lot on my plate right now and sadly, I haven't had time to blog, and I don't want to write pointless posts to fill space...sooo...Mini blogging hiatus, till around Monday, but you never know, I might come back and surprise you! So, I'll leave you with some pics from Keith Urban, St. Patrick's Day, and Black Rebel Motorcycle Club!

He's looking back at me and smiling. No big deal.


Irish Car Bombs. My fave.

What a show. 

The end! 

Since it's Double You Tea Eff Wednesday, here's a morsel. 

I am graduating from my Master's Program in like a month. UMMMM WTF time warp? Has it srsly been two years???? Ahhhh. 


PEE ESS. I got a new button for the blog! Snag it and put it on your blog and I'll love your FOREVAHHHH.

Monday, March 22, 2010

Monday Music and Thangs...

Spring Break is over (sadface) but I'm happy to report that it went smoothly. Not nearly as exciting as previous college spring breaks, but still relaxing, fun, and VERY musical. 

Keith Urban was a-mazing. I will post pics later from our AMAZING 7th row seats. THEN I went and saw Band of Skulls and Black Rebel Motorcycle Club on Saturday, and they put on a SPECTACULAR show. 

Ok, so I've mentioned my nervous laugh to y'all before. It's not really a laugh, it starts as a giggle, then gets increasingly more high pitched and then reaches decibels only dogs and bats can hear. My beefer since 2nd grade "Lola" also has this nervous laugh. So when we're together, and nervous, it's like a high pitched giggle fest. Enter the night of the Brett Dennen/Erin McCarley concert. 

We had just had a lovely musical evening filling our ears with musical candy and treats. On the way home, around 11ish, we were driving down the freeway. I am petrified of heights, Lola is kinda too. There is a HUGE, I mean HUGE overpass in Houston that is literally a bajillion feet high, and it's ONE CAR LENGTH wide. So, you're basically teetering over the city. UMMM. SCARY.

captain gigglebox.

SO Lola and I start kind of joking about how scary the overpass is....we start approaching the overpass...I start to giggle....She starts to giggle...Giggling is now more high pitched....Overpass is fast approaching....Giggling becomes hysterical...Lola has tears streaming down her face she's giggling so hard...I can scarcely breathe I'm giggling so hard...Overpass is HERE.NOW....Pretty sure we could've shattered windows at this point the giggling is OOC (out of control). Lola is WHEEZING she's still giggling....More giggles. Giggles turn into HYSTERICAL LAUGHTER. I'm talkin' uncontrollable, gut hurting, tear jerking, can't breathe, can't talk, Lola is having trouble holding the wheel straight HYSTERICAL NERVOUS LAUGHTER. All of this is taking place as our lives hang (literally) over the highest point on the planet. Then, we realized we made it. We were alive. So we laugh about that some more. Classic Beefer Moment. Classic.

I'll be back with lots of fun stuff for you this week!


Tuesday, March 16, 2010

Make Outz

Friends and Lovahs, Lovahs and Friends, 

I'm going to the rodeo tonight to see Mr. Keith Urban!!!!!!!!! I'm uber.excited. I'll take some pics for all you non-texans. I'm praying I can catch the show where a tiny monkey dressed up as a cowboy rides a border collie dressed as a horse, it's the cutest thing I've ever seen in my life. 

So, I have a male beefer who was bitching about him not being mentioned in my blog. Even though I did his damn laundry for two years in college. He knows I heart him to the moon and back, so here's his mention. I will tell a story about him that is both embarrassing and endearing, because that's what I do. 

One night, we all went out on the town in Nashville. Beverages were consumed, the dance floor was DOMINATED by us, and cab drivers feared us (totally standard for us). I had intense eye sex with a cute stranger the entire night, and when he came over to talk to me, I said "It's about damn time." (I'm very blunt...oopsies...but he liked it and we actually ended up dating for a while)...I DIGRESS. 

So, girl beefer and boy beefer and I headed back to boy beefer's house because he had booze and we wanted to late-night. Then I noticed boy and girl beefer batting eyelashes and flirting. Oh.Sweet.Jeebus.

Next thing I know, I'm alone, on the couch, sipping on a beer, and waiting for girl and boy beefer to finish whatever it was that they were doing upstairs. They were always "friends" but I'm pretty sure they were in the process of getting EXTRA friendly. 

Girl beefer and I are close. THISCLOSE. So we say whatever we want to each other. So, when girlbeefer FINALLY stumbles downstairs, I'm highly amused, because now I can give my beefers HELL for as long as possible. The following convo ensued. 

Me: " were y'all folding laundry or sucking face??"

Girl Beefer: "What!? No, we were just talking, nothing happened, jeez chill out..."

Me: "OH, so is that why your top is on INSIDE OUT?!"

Girl Beefer: "Oh. shit. Um. Well. Shit. DON'T SAY ANYTHING"

Me: "Oh...don't worry... I won't" meanwhile evil Cheshire Cat grin/Dwight Schrute evil face is in FULL FORCE. I had ammo, and you can bet your ass I was gonna use it.

The end. LOVE YOU GIRL AND BOY BEEFERS. And I know you love me for giving you hell. You so love it.


Sunday, March 14, 2010

Spring Break Smorgasbord....

Kitty Kats, 

I've been super busy drinking, partying, sunning, WORKING REALLY HARD, the past few days, so I've just got to give you some morsels...I'll be back in full hurricane force this week! 

  • I created a new cocktail with one of my fave bartenders this weekend. I told him I wanted something that tasted like a chocolate-y candy bar in my mouth (that's what she said) so he mixed equal parts (by equal parts I mean LOTS) Kahlua, Amaretto, and then a splash of soda. DELISH. I drank two. Then I switched to beer because I had already had champers, then I had a guh-rrrreat night. The end. I named it the "candy bar". Creativity at its best....except not really.
  • My PIC (partner in crime) told me something that made me almost kinda pee in my pants. We were discussing this recent troll in my life (troll=douche bag) and she said "you know what?! He's totes a one trick pony"....basically "one trick pony" is now my favorite insult. evah. 
  • It's GORGEOUS in Houston. SO I've been outside as much as possible, and I'm now a few shades darker! Inner Chihuahua is REEEEE-JOICING. 
  • I will be posting pics this week of my outfit from my big day Friday. 
  • Pauly D from the Jersey Shore was in Houston this weekend. I KNOW that "At Least I'm Skinny"(pls. blog more about Jabroni-ness..The suspense is KILLING me)  is SUPER jeal. But I didn't see him. But we shared the same city oxygen or something like that...
  • Fate/Destiny is a cray cray thing. Ask Carissa. I told her all about my weird coincidence this weekend. Things fall into place. Always. Don't tempt fate. Basically. 
  • I'm severely addicted to Friday Night Lights. I even had a dream about me and Tim Riggins. I'll spare you the deets. 
  • TODAY. I LAID OUT IN THE SUN. In a bathing suit. With beer(s). And music. HEAVEN.ON.EARTH. Once again, inner chihuahua NIRVANA. 
love y'all. 

Thursday, March 11, 2010

Operation Mermaid Locks = SUCCESS.

I went to get my hair did last night and it was a GREAT SUCCESS. Mermaid Locks are intact and I'm sure all your locklove was manifested in the scissors that the lady used. I wanted to test a theory of mine, so I told her to shampoo, cut, and leave it be. So, she washed, snipped, put some BioSilk in it, and then I let it air dry. This is my new "wash&wear" look! I lurve it! So easy peasy!

No, I don't really have pink blocks on my face. I'm still nervie to reveal my face. Deal. Oh and PLEASE excuse the PALENESS. IT'S DISTURBING.

Moving ON. 

Yesterday, I was minding my own beeswax, walking along the sidewalk to go make some copies, and there was this posse of people on the sidewalk holding up signs saying "free compliments"....So, as I walked by, this chick shouts "I like your sunglasses!" And I'm all weirded out. Because LIT-RILLY everyone that walked by got "complimented", which TO ME defeats the whole purpose. I don't dish out compliments unless I mean them And who's to say if that person REALLY liked my wayfarers? She HAD to compliment me. I say weird and unnecessary.  Maybe. But that's me. At least it wasn't the Jehovah's witnesses who hand out Bibles on the daily. I always feel like a huge a-hole and tell them "No thanks! I already got one!" Plus I think it's a royal waste of paper. CAN I GET A WITNESS!?

In other news. I'm now obsessed with "Friday Night Lights" and I am really pissed off because I think I have also developed a crush on Taylor Kitsch/Tim Riggins AND a crush on Coach Taylor. THIS IS NOT HEALTHY. Help. Because I also think I have a crush on Chuck Bass. 

I'm thinking me and Riggins will work out best, because I'm not a homewrecker, and Chuck is a little young for me. Basically. Oh and Friday Night Lights is filmed in ATX, and I have been to a LOT of the places they film and so then we'd have a lot in common. True Story. Even though he's Canadian but whatever. 

So, I'm starting spring break tonight! And I have a BIG DAY tomorrow! I'll let y'all know what it is after the fact! Have an amazing day! My inner Chihuahua is leaping for joy today since it's FINALLY WARM AND SUNNY!!


Wednesday, March 10, 2010

A Is For Art

Soooo....My homeskillet Cher over at "The Only Girl" really liked my Doodle from a couple days ago, so I told her I'd doodle for her! So here it is...

It's prettier in big form, Cher, I'll e-mail all the copies to you!

So it's Double You Tea Eff Wednesday:

  • It's finally warmer here in Houston (yaythankthesweetsweetlord) but it's raining...WTF weather!?
  • I really. really. really. need to have a job come May. Srsly. WTF miz miz economy!?
  • I'm getting my hair cut today and I can't decide what look to go for...WTF indecision!?
Here are my favorite looks. I tried to find people with my hair texture and length. I want to keep my mermaid locks intact for summer. Because Mermaid Hair is the BEST. I will never tire of Merm Locks. Evah. 
The Contenders:

Sideswept Longer Bangs. I heart this.
My hair is wavy like these, so I like the look? No?

More Mermaid Locks. Love Minka Kelly.

Do those all look the same? Maybe. So I guess I have my answer. All I know is I'm super nervie to get my hair done because I don't trust people with my Mermaid Locks. So wish me lots of LockLove.

Yeah. Call me Supah Sleuth. I went to tinkle yesterday, and I saw this woman at the sink, with a huge toiletry bag, clearly had just gotten back from the gym. I realized she goes to the gym during lunch, changes in the stall, and "freshens" her lady bits with baby powder because I SAW the baby powder in her toiletry bag. Did I mention she feels the need to spray nasty body spray? Like A LOT of nasty body spray? BLECHHH. 

I'll take a pic of my new coiffe latah! 


Tuesday, March 9, 2010

Sparkly Crack and Spring Cleaning

Are you excited to read about sparkly crack? Well I'm excited to tell you about it! Sooo, as I've mentioned before, my graduate school is located in one of the most shady/sketchy/creepy/dangerous/ghetto/homemgeeeithinkiminanepisodeof'thewire'rightnow areas of town. It's called the 'third ward' sounds scary huh? So, I get out late at night usually. And usually, I speed, run stoplights, and get the hell out as quickly as possible, because there are typically like 10 cop cars arresting people at every corner. (Not kidding). And there are constantly stray pit bulls a la Michael Vick roaming about, and I have to keep driving otherwise I start crying (which has happened before) because I want to adopt them all. I DIGRESS. 

I was driving home early last week, at the pinnacle of my cold, and I was feeling uber yucky. And lo and behold, I look up at the stop light. And I see this. 

Now, I don't know if you can really tell, but these shoes are PINK AND SPARKLY. There they hung, sparkling in the sun, and I was so excited to tell you guys all about them. In my experience/knowledge, I have been told that people toss their shoes up on these wires to keep their crack stash, these people kind of suck at protecting their crack because HOW CAN YOU MISS THEM? They are PINK and SPARKLY!!! So there lies someone's sparkly crack stash. THE END. 

In other news, I am giving my blog a Spring Cleaning Makeover. AND I JOINED TWITTER. I repeat, I JOINED TWITTER. Now someone help me put up a nifty "Follow Me On Twitter" button on my page because I'm technically impaired. My twitter name is "LifeOnAHanger" go figure. ALSO, I want to have a signature thingie. E-mail me if you can help!? Por favor? Y'all rock. 

Oh, and I'M WEARING FLIP FLOPS TODAY! It's actually warm here! My inner Chihuahua is squealing for joy and my skin is no longer nearing PHASE 4 of plant death. Get excited people. 


Monday, March 8, 2010

Dodo Birds and Smiling Cats...

Hoe Em Gee, I'm back! I fell of the edge of the world for a spell, thanks to my faulty immune system and a little too much school and work. BUT I'm back and ready to rock!

So am I weird because I forgot to watch the Oscar's? Yes. But it gives me something to research when I'm bored today. Is it weird that instead of watching the Oscar's I went to see Alice In Wonderland? Hell to the no, because AIW was/is one of my favorite books of all time, and AIW is my favorite Disney movie EVAH, with The Little Merm coming in at second place. Since I've never really been the type to do hallucinogenic drugs, AIW takes me to a place that opium/LSD/acid/shrooms could potentially take me, and without the hangover! Curiouser and curiouser!

Moving on. I went to see Tyrone Wells Friday night with a bag-full of tissues for my nasty cold, and he was A-MAZING. Srsly. I'm slightly pissed he's married, but whatevs. Tony Lucca opened for him, and lo and behold I have another musical crush. He's rah-some. What an amazing show, PLUS he played alllll the songs I wanted to hear, so permasmile was ON, despite the sniffles and face pain (sinus infection..blech)

K, so my face still hurts a little. But that doesn't mean I can't give you some GREEK salad today. I will not name any specific names or houses, so peeps don't get offended or what not. 

  • A certain SOMEONE (me) was blacklisted from a certain house because a certain SOMEONE (me) made out with an upperclassman's boyfriend. In a certain SOMEONE'S  defense (mine), I didn't know he had a girlfriend PLUS he was a senior, and the prez of his frat, and SMOKIN' hot. How was I going to say no to that? It was worth the stink eye she gave me for a year. Plus he still called me for three years after. Who's the boss now?
  • Certain houses would put the "ugly" or "fat" girls on "kitchen duty" during rush. True story. 
  • A certain house had a "troll patrol" committee where "troll-ish" girls were weeded out. There may or may not even have been a "troll patrol" water gun that was passed on to new crops of "troll patrol" committees. 
  • Certain houses labeled girls that got into the house one year, but turned out to totally suck "crackslippers". Meaning they somehow snuck past "troll patrol" or were legacies that we couldn't get rid of no matter how hard they tried to dig dirt up. 
  • Certain houses had to text message names of freshman girls to the rush chair while out and about partying to rank/judge them as they met them, and to keep notes/tabs. Ex: Upperclassman meets "Skanky McSkankerson" at a tailgate. Upperclassman text messages the rush chair (usually not sober) "Hoe Em Gee, just met a frosh named 'Skanky McSkankerson'... she's pretty, but WAY-sted and her dress flew up at the tailgate and I saw her flirt with someone's bf". 
And there you have it. S-E-C- sorostitution at its best. Amazing. Because no one does it better than the S-E-C. No one. 

This weekend, I was at a crawfish boil with some amigos, and I spotted with my eagle eye vision a guy I had gone on a mizmiz date with several months ago. Our parting words on the date were, 
Him: "So when can I see you again?"
Me: "Uhh...well...I'm gonna be out of town for the next 4 weekends, and I stay pretty busy...soo...I'll call you?" (funny sidenote...I ran into him two weeks later...oopsies)
So, needless to say, I pretended I didn't know who he was, despite the fact that he was CIRCLING my group of friend for 2 HOURS. Ughh. Can I Get A Witness?

Now be on your merry way and listen to some Santigold and Sparklehorse while you're at it. 


Tuesday, March 2, 2010

I'm NOT On A Boat, I'm In A Cave, And I HATE It...

So I finish my hell week at school/work and I'm so stoked to party and celebrate, but NOOOOOO, my effing immune system decided to shut down. So, I will probably not remember what this post says since I'm fairly certain there's a rabid wolverine clawing around my face, ripping out my eardrums, and shoving it's razorsharp claw down my throat and up my schnoz. I have a nasty. NASTY. bitch of a cold. And it hates me. And I hate it. It's war. 

I'm a sick monster. My hair hurts. 

I'm one of those people with a high pain tolerance, but when I get sick, I turn into a huge HUGE baby. I'm all, "I want my mom, wait no, I want juice, wait, no, I want sorbet for my throat, wait, no, I want tea, somebody pet my head, wait no, my hair hurts, wait, no, so do my eyelashes, wait no, someone snuggle me, I swear I'm not contagious, wait, no, you're getting too close, stop breathing on me, wait, no, come back, don't leave me alone, wait, no, bring me some ginger ale, wait, no, make sure it's DIET!" GET THE PICTURE??? I'M A HUGE PAIN IN THE ASS!So I've been writhing and moaning in my bed, watching Gossip Girl, listening to crybaby music and feeling sorry for myself, and going through Puffs Kleenex with lotion AND Vicks, and chugging juice and taking herbal supplements like crazy. I wouldn't be surprised if I sprouted roots. If I'm not better by this weekend, I will HURT someone. Srsly. 

So, since I'm alllll kinds of cracked out, here's some stuff for your eyeballs. 

Exhibit A: This is something my bestest besticle beefer sent me today, and something that I KNOW my kid will totally do someday, and I will give them A HIGH FIVE. Because it's awesome. 

"another student made the comment 'you need to push it in further' (innocent comment) and Dalton added 'that's what she said".....WHATEVER, THE KID THAT SAID "YOU NEED TO PUSH IT IN FURTHER" WAS TOTES ASKING FOR IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Random Fact:

I have never peed in my pants. Not even a little bit. I'm kind of pissed off (no pun intended) that this hasn't happened to me. I mean, I've fallen in sewers, been driven home in a tourbus at 3 am, and plenty of other awful/awesome stuff, but have NEVER peed in my pants. So I'm kind of lying every time I say "hoe em gee I just peed myself laughing so hard' because I NEVER HAVE. And I'm sad about that a little. Is that weird? Is it the drugz talking? MAYBE. Have you ever tinkled in your pantalones???? SPILL. not literally. but srsly. SPILL.

Jules Bear's waaaah-waaaah, cry me a river I'm sick and feeling pitiful playlist:

" I Can Feel A Hot One" Manchester Orchestra
"The Ice Is Getting Thinner" Death Cab For Cutie
"Pretty Boy Floyd" Kid Loco
"Velvet" The Big Pink
"Botan" Peder

Monday, March 1, 2010

Some Greekness and Some Girl Crushness...Basically.

K, so I have a new girlcrush. I mean I'm still loving me some Marion Cotillard, Olivia Palermo, and Carla Bruni; howevah, this one is musical. Musical crushes in my world are a BIG.DEAL. I present to you, AMANDA BLANK. No, not like Amanda ________ but her name is Amanda Blank. She's a girl rapper, (sometimes I try to rap, TRY being the keyword and I'm usually 3 cocktails deep.) However, I have amazing memorization skillz and I know LOTS of lyrics to rap songs. Try me. It's epic. 

She's ridiculously awesome and I'm pretty sure she jedi-mind tricked some of the lyrics to her songs outta my head. I think that if she and I hung out, we'd be instant besticles. She's a fierce betch. Now go on your merry way to and LISTEN.  My faves are "Might Like You Better" and "A Love Song" she stole those lyrics from my brain. Srsly. Oh and don't pretend to listen to the song at the bottom, bc I will know if you did or not. K thanks. 

we would be TOTAL BEEFERS.

I was "entertainment round chair" which means I wrote the skit we presented to the rush-ees, wrote all the lyrics to the songs we sang, and picked out who would be in the skit etc. etc. Big deal. I know. SO, one year. I had to bite the bullet, wear a blonde wig, and be Anna Nicole Smith post-TrimSpaBaby!. I know, but trust me it worked. So basically, I had to act all wasted and cray cray.
I wore a black halter dress, and nasty long red nails. HAWT.

 Weeks later, Anna Nicole croaks. And I got like 759834598 texts from people being all "HOE EM GEE did you know ANS died and you just pretended to be her?!" Basically like it was my fault or no. I was officially weirded out. And I secretly felt bad for making fun of a now dead person. But we got a good pledge class. So the next year I tried to cast people in the skit that were not likely to die. So we had some Grey's Anatomy peeps, The Olsen Twins, Spice Girls, Paris and Nikki Hilton....Basically, I HAD to keep up with tabloids and PerezHilton to make sure our sorority had a good pledge class. A hard life I lead in college, I tell ya, reading People/Star/USWeekly gets OLD people. (Have you caught on to the heavy handed sarcasm I just laid on you? K good. )

K so, I'm getting sick I think. So I need to go schleep, so here is the video for that cray cray amazing song. ENJOY!

you know you like it!

Conversations with a Beefer.....

Friends and Lovahs, 

I know you all just read that title and were all "huh?".... Allow me to explain...

Beefer: (noun). Term used to describe a BFF. Ex: "Aw, beefer, I miss you!"

So, my beefer lives in Nashville right now. She's pretty amazing if I say so myself, otherwise she probs wouldn't be my beefer. Duh. 

Today, I have a presentation to finish, so I'm keepin' this one short and suh-weet. I'll be back to normal blog activity tomorrow. Promise. 

Typical Convos with the Beefer:

Beefer: "Jules, wanna know something really weird?"
Me: "Uh, sure..."
Beefer: "I'm like....really pretty."
Me: "Does this mean you're in sweats, wearing your rasta hat, trolling the aisles of Whole Foods praying you don't see anyone you know?"
Beefer: "Basically". 

Beefer: "Go talk to that guy"
Me: "No, he's fug"
Beefer: "Haha ok fine, he's fug, but his friend is hot so you can break the ice for me"
Me: "Selfish slore."
Beefer: "Let's get more drinks."
Me: "Ok! Love you!"

Me: "That guy is hot."
Beefer: "You have the weirdest taste in men and I have no idea why you pick the ones you do"
Me: "Fine. At least I didn't date the distant cousin of a WALRUS."
Beefer: "I hate you. But I guess you're right."
Me: "Let's get more drinks"
Beefer: "Ok! Love you!"

Me: "Hey Beefer, member that time you dragged me to that guy's house late night and I pretended to smoke pot with you guys and everyone thought I was a total badass because I didn't cough?"
Beefer: "Yeah, that was hysterical!"
Me: "No it wasn't, because then you locked yourself in the guys' bedroom and made me sit alone on the couch with his high roomates and wait for  a pledge to pick my ass up and take me home. And when he came to get me, he drove up in a YELLOW HUMMER and I wanted to die."
Beefer: "Yeah, but remember the time you dragged me to that hotel so you could make small talk with that 35 year old guy in that band, only to realize you didn't like him after all and you made him drive you back in the tourbus?"
Me: "Ugh. Fine. Let's go get Maggiano's and eat it in the park"
Beefer: "OK! Love you!"

Basically, we're peas in a pod. She's NEVER BEEN TO TEXAS and I braved the fiercely cold Chicago winter last year to visit her, and I've been to Nashville TWICE, so she owes me a visit. 

Excuse the total random-ness of the post, but my brain is half melted from Rodeo weekend and I hate school. Basically. But I love my beefer. Lots.

Musique Du Jour: 
The album "Gorilla Manor" by Local Natives
The album "And Then Boom" By Iglu & Hartley