Tuesday Trouble...

Once again, I woke up on the wrong side of the bed this morning....with a scratchy throat. Seriously karma? What did I do to deserve this!?! Was it the people I flicked off in traffic last week (they DESERVED it) because I can't think of anything particularly evil that I've done in the past few weeks. For some reason, ALWAYS around this time of year, I get supremely stressed. I'm not typically a high stress creature, in fact, a little stress actually makes me work harder; however, the stress in my habitat at the current moment has reached astronomical heights. It may or may not have something to do with the fact that I have FORTY FIVE PAGES of final papers to write all in the next 2 weeks.....killmenow. 

So my Thanksgiving will be spent buried under scholarly journal articles, books, and MLA style manuals, trying to extract meaning from it all, and creatively filling page upon page with my brilliant thoughts. I'd rather be stuck in the middle of Siberia with a pack of rabid wolves. Yeah, it's that miz. 

SO in an effort to de-stress and vent a little, I will write a short letter:


Dear Foul, Disgusting, Crude, Crass, Repugnant, Neanderthal, Lesser Human, Unmannered, Filthy Man/Boy/Male Human who feels the need to hock loogies in PUBLIC, onto sidewalks where people are about to step, on the FLOOR INSIDE A BUILDING, in a pool, on the side of the pool, in OPEN TRASHCANS, or generally every which way you feel like PUBLICLY hocking a loogie just willy nilly, 


You disgust me. No, wait, you make me lose a little bit of faith in all of humanity. Tell me this, where you raised by wolves? Swine? Even monkeys might be able to rear children with more manners than you. I'm not asking you to master table etiquette here, I'm asking that you refrain from making that disgusting throaty noise, and then projecting vile PHLEGM into public areas. I do NOT want to witness this, nor do I want to come anywhere near making contact with your repugnant bacteria that you are spreading to those unfortunate enough to be sharing space with you. If you need to spit, please do so discreetly, and as soundlessly as possible. How would you feel if someone blew their nose with their hands and slung it directly into your path? That's basically what you're doing. The only way I could be somewhat at peace with loogie hocking is on a baseball field, (any athletic field will do...I guess) or while running, that's IT. Otherwise, you have GOT to quit doing that, it's utterly offensive, and makes me want to call your mother and tell her how vile and reprehensible your behavior is. And DON'T even get me started on people who don't know how to say please or thank you, I'll have to save that gem for another day, because it deserves its own space. 

The ONLY acceptable spitting/loogie hocking allowed is on the sports field. Period.

I feel much better now. I probably won't be blogging much this week, but who knows, I may need the distraction! Have an AMAZING Thanksgiving and travel safely!

lots of grumpy lovin, 

"Jules"




P.S. I just went to go get some Starbie's and this guy was walking in front of me, NBD (nobigdeal) and THEN he hocks a disturbingly large loogie onto the concrete bench that we were passing.....before I exploded with rage and disgust, his girlfriend smacked him. I would've preferred a full on face slap or kick in the nuts, but  you can't win 'em all! Then, the people at Starbie's were rude, told me they were out of Splenda, and after giving them my best evil glare, they "magically" remembered that they had a new box of Splenda in the back...hmph.