Monday, January 25, 2010

That Time I Read Tucker Max, Got the Stink Eye, and Almost Yakked...

Friends and Lovers, Lovers and Friends, 

Hope everyone had less of a hangover than I did this weekend. Friday night tricked me into thinking I was a total champ and that mixing margaritas, gin, vodka, champagne and sugar would be SUCH a good idea. In a nutshell, I felt like death all weekend. Thanks Friday night, you're an asshole. 

Speaking of wild nights, I was reminded of the time I read, "I Hope They Serve Beer In Hell" by Tucker Max. I decided to buy the book for my weekend trip to Nashville for my yearly reunion with the besticles. I though this was a GRAND idea. 

I was wrong. Very, very, wrong. I cracked open the book while waiting for my flight to board. There happened to be a lot of guys sitting around me and every time one of them saw what I was reading, they'd give me this weird ass look, and kind of shake their head. Why? Is it because I was about to uncover all of the dirty little secrets and tricks men play on us poor unsuspecting women (heavy sarcasm)? Is it because I'm not 'manly' enough to read this book? Does it make me MORE manly? WHAT is so wrong with me reading it?!?! Some guys turned, looked, chuckled, and seemed to give me a "good luck with that sugar" look...WHAT.THE.HELL.

THEN, while I was on the flight, I was ripping through the book, and every time I laughed out loud, snickered, or giggled, the dude next to me looked at me like I was a total looney-toon. Um, it's a funny book, why don't you read one yourself and wipe that stupid smirk off your face, captain douchenozzle!?

THEN...on the way home, I learned to fold back the book cover, so no one could see what I was reading because I was tired of getting "that look". BUT, what happened was that I was still slightly hungover, sleep deprived, and hadn't eaten very much all day. I came across an extremely graphic story involving dirty dirty things, and I swear to you, I must've turned white as a ghost. I had to put the book down and take a few deep breaths so as not to yak up the contents of my tummy. Damn you Tucker Max, you and your dirty habits. Overall, the book WAS pretty hysterical I must admit, even though I don't think he's an attractive guy to begin with and I have a hard time believing that he could get so much action, but we all have our charms I suppose. So, if you like dirty humor, march on over to the bookstore and pick up a copy, but make sure that you fold back the cover to avoid "stink eyes" from men. 

IN other news, a BIG THANK YOU THANK YOU to Bathwater who made my new spiffy blog title!! WHAT a sweetie!! Srsly. Go on over and check him out, tell him how awesome he is, and make him feel all warm and fuzzy inside! So, big major thanks to him, my blog looks so fresh thanks to you!!! 

Musique Du Jour:

"Lover" Devendra Banhart
The entire new album by Vampire Weekend called "Contra"'s delish. enjoy. 


  1. SO glad to know another fierce female read this book!! I just HAD to pick it up at the bookstore when I saw it {side note: I bought Chelsea Handler's "My Horizontal Life" and Obama's "The Audacity of Hope" at the same time... pretty sure I REALLY had the cashier confused.} I thought it was hilarious- and I am pretty certain I know EXACTLY what dirty part you are talking about- pretty.freaking.disgusting.
    Did you know they are making this into a movie?!

  2. oh, and p.s.... I'm listening to "Contra" as I type, via :)

  3. I love the new heading!! I also read Tucker Max, actually on the reccomendation of an ex boyfriend. I was kind like "and you wanted me to read this to further my opinion of you as an asshole." But I actually did think it was pretty funny!!!

  4. It is funny but the guy is the biggest asshole!

  5. Mental note to self Number 1: Buy that book

    Mental note to self Number 2: Do NOT read in public.

  6. I too was hung over most of the weekend. You would think that I learned my lesson from Thursday supposed to be link-------->(Hung the fuck over) don't know how to link it.

    Nothing playoff games and bloody Mary's couldn't fix though.

    I heard about this book. It's not really a guy is it? I heard he's a walking wives tale.

  7. after 6 sips of my super stiff drink, i felt hungover as hell. luckily it was shortlived.

    i haven't heard of that book but i'm now curious. is it really that good?

    way to go bathwater! he did a great job on your blog title.

  8. Oh my goodness, thank you for "besticle". That word made my day!

  9. love the new look!
    must read that book!
    i just sat here for a moment thinking to myself "does that rhyme? that looks like it rhymes. why am i rhyming?" yeah,'s only monday and it has been a long week already.

  10. That is so funny. I have laughed out loud on a plane before. I have actually been laughed at for laughing.

    Man- that must have been pretty bad for you to turn pale and shut the book. hee hee.

    New to your blog! Have a great evening!

  11. This also happened to me on a plane, but with a book called "Stop Dressing Your Six Year Old Like A Skank" by Celia Rivenbark.

    I highly recommend it, by the way.

    She made me snort and draw attention to myself with cackling, but never once did I have the urge to technicolor yawn.

  12. I want that book but he's such an asshole. I think that's why I want it.

  13. I hear he made half of that stuff up.

    ...Which goes along with him being a guy.

  14. I started watching The Hangover on the plane once. . . . didn't think about the parts that shouldn't be seen by prying eyes of little ankle biters. I was laughing out loud though so I hope the mother of Johnny-kicks-my-seat enjoy her son getting an eye-full small china-man bush in the middle of that movie.

    PS - douchenozzle is classic. Good work.

  15. I can not even believe how popular Tucker Max has become. He was in Boston at a professionals mixer a few years ago and slept with one of my friends. Big surprise. Luckily she is not in the book. Anyway before I ever even had a blog I would take pictures of random people at bars and ask if they wanted to be on my website. i said it was and that I named it after my dog.

  16. should be in sales!!! You just sold me on buying this book on my next trip to the bookstore :)
    I'm sitting here laughing hysterically at your description of your flight. How i wish i could have seen those faces you're describing.

  17. It was pretty hilarious. I have a couple manwhore friends and it reminded me so much of them.


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