The Hipster Dilemma....(as seen on my new tumblr!)

I’m confused. 

Broad statement, right? So here’s what I’m confused about. It’s the Hipsters. 

Before you go out and get all offended and all “oh no she didn’t”, lemme break it down for you.

I just don’t get the Hipster movement. And here’s the kicker….They seem to be EVERYWHERE nowadays. Like when I went bicycle shopping the other day and the dude helping me (bless his poor heart by the way, because I am bicycle challenged and had no idea what the eff he was saying) kept saying “well, you might not like this, it’s just a hipster bike and there’s no real use for it” but by looking at him, I could’ve sworn he was part of the hipster movement. See where I get confused? I totes would’ve called this guy a hipster (not to his face) but I’ve NEVER heard someone call themselves a hipster. Is that bad? People talk, act, dress and apparently now bike like hipsters, but no one calls them self one….ummmm que?

Some more hipster questions I have. Please feel free to educate me on the subject. To be honest, I’m fascinated by the term….

1.) Am I a hipster since I have Chuck Taylors in my closet and own several vintage plaid shirts?

2.) Why are mustaches so hipster? Someone said it’s because they’re “ironic”. I have a Master’s Degree in literature and I perpetually fail to see the irony. Since when is facial hair ironic? Are beards ironic? Soul patches are creepy, but are they ironic now too? Are girls with mustaches in need of a good wax hipsters now too?

3.) WHY DO HIPSTERS RIDE FIXED GEAR BICYCLES? I NEED TO KNOW.

4.) Why do hipsters go to indie concerts and then have no idea about the music they’re listening to??? I went to a concert this weekend and I was awesome enough to be included in a hipster conversation, and NONE of them knew EITHER of the 2 bands playing. 

5.) Why do hipsters like irony so much? So many of them love “Ironic tattoos”….why?

6.) Why do hipsters all wear the same type of glasses? Most people don’t even look good in those frames. Is it because of Kanye?

Is he an honorary hipster or full fledged card carrying hipster? Do hipsters hate or love him? If it wasn’t Kanye, then WHO STARTED WITH THE GLASSES!?

7.) Why do people love to hate hipsters?

8.) Why is Pabst Blue Ribbon considered “hipster beer”???

9.) Do all hipsters shop at the same stores? Are you not totally hipster if your clothes aren’t all vintage? oh crap….I love vintage clothing, am I a hipster?!

10.) AM I A HIPSTER!?! What does it mean!??!

*Disclaimer*

I don’t love or hate hipsters. This is a case study. 

oh…and no hipsters or animals were hurt in this investigation. 

peacelove&irony?
lovelovelove,