My ACL predictions for 2011....because I'm Part Magic.

Good morning and Happy Belated Cinco de Mayo my friends!

Since it’s Friday after Cinco de Mayo and I’m feeling extra spicy…I am going to be super ballsy and make my ACL 2011 lineup predictions. The official lineup comes out May 17th (I’m counting down the hours/minutes/seconds) but here is a list of my predictions: 

For headliners:

Red Hot Chili Peppers: here’s why; they are supposedly releasing an album in august/september and I think they’d be a GREAT addition to the lineup. It’s ACL’s 10th anniversary show this year so this would be amazeballs.

Radiohead: This deliciously wonderful band has been rumored to play ACL for the last year or two, and I think this might be our lucky year y’all. Especially with the release of Lotus Flower. 

Paul Simon/Willie Nelson/Buffalo Springfield for the Sunday night closer: Why? Because they’re cool. Oh and who doesn’t love them? I vote for Willie. He’s perfect for an anniversary show in Texas. 

My Morning Jacket: only because I’ve heard rumors and they’re playing at Coachella, they also headlined at Jazzfest last year. Also, their new single “Circuital” makes my heart smile and shoot rainbows.

I could be wrong with those headliners. Now here is my list that include Lollapalooza 2011 lineup shows that I think will do ACL, and some returning shows from ACL 2010. Don’t worry. I’ll tell you which is which…you’re welcome.

ACL 2010 Returning Acts for 2011:

Muse. Put on one of the best shows I’ve seen last year. They’re playing Lolla and headlined las year. I just don’t know where they’d put them. Possibly where Deadmau5 played last year…hmmm…

Spoon. Because who doesn’t love them some Spoon?

Band of Horses. Most beautiful show last year. Sunset and amazing sound. I haven’t heard much of what they’re up to lately but I’d love to see them back.

Black Keys. Popular hit to see. Playing Lolla also.

Matt & Kim. I don’t think enough people appreciated them last year,so I’d like to see them back.

Portugal.The Man. They’ve been blowing up as of late, played last year and are cool enough to play at Lolla.

Rebelution. Another one that’s been blowing up and pretty damn good too. Also played ACL last year. 

Edward Sharpe & The Magnetic Zeros: Ok, so he’s a little bizarre, who cares? He’s awesome. Last year he drew a huge crowd. Although lately I’ve been enjoying Alexander’s solo stuff. This is one of my wish listers, so he can come solo or play with the MZeros.

Manchester Orchestra: Who are currently touring with Cage the Elephant. Both are also playing Lolla. Manchester was a goose-bump inducing act last year, even though it was fairly early and we were all sweating out alcohol and party time. But, WOW what a great show. Also, Cage the Elephant; who I really enjoy only drew 15 year old skater kids which was not so alarming, but I’d hope to see them back with a more mature crowd. 

Mountain Goats: Another sleeper that I slept through missed at ACL much to my dismay. I love them. Please come back! They’re also playing Lolla.

Midlake: Because everyone needs to know about Midlake. Played ACL last year too. 

Foals: I missed their Houston show, but apparently it was so awesome that someone got SHANKED. Yeah. And they played last year too (ACL). They remind me of a more rock version of Bloc Party.

Shearwater: Another 11 am show I missed. And I was PISSED. They’re like Sigur Ros’s red headed step child, but in English. Comprende? AWESOME.

Balmorhea: LOVE. And I missed them last year at ACL. Such good ear candy.

Dan Black: I would love to have a mini Dan Black to keep in my purse. His show at ACL last year was SO SO FUN, and who doesn’t love him? (Brad from The Rachel Zoe Project still wins in my heart)

OK: Onto Lolla 2011 lineup that I haven’t already mentioned, hopefully these will cross over into ACL

My Morning Jacket: Already talked about their magical-ness.

Deadmau5: Who also played ACL last year, blew everyone away, (duh!) 

Cee-Lo Green: He’s dumb and leaked that he was playing ACL this year, then ACL forced him to take that info offline. I was underwhelmed by this. blech.

Ween. Good stuff. Also playing Free Press Summer Fest in Houston this June.

Bright Eyes. Would love to see him.

Arctic Monkeys. Could fill Vampire Weekend’s slot and they are good, which helps. New music release as well.

Death From Above 1979. This would be fun to see. Especially since someone at this show at SXSW got STABBED. Damn.

Ratatat. Great group, lots of music to play. I’m just a wee bit scared what they’ll be like live. But I’m stoked.

Crystal Castles. Another one I’ve been dying to see, hopefully they’ll stay for ACL.

Cold War Kids. I recently missed them here in Houston. Good stuff, especially “Hang Me up to Dry” love.

Lykke Li. Really talented artist, love her.

Ok Go. Would be a super fun band to see.

Local Natives. Also a great group, could def. see them taking a day show.

The Kills. Delicious music. U R A Fever and Sour Cherry are amazing.

White Lies. A sleeper worth waking up to watch.

2 Door Cinema Club. Also played ACL last year, and were apparently really great. I’ve never seen them live but have heard many a good thing.

Sleigh Bells. HELLZ YES PLEASE. Just saw them recently in Houston, and a show like this could totally be amazing at ACL.

Smith Westerns. Great show.

Best Coast. Another band I’ve been dying to see live. Fingers crossed!

The Drums. Have come back lately into the spotlight and are bound to put on a great live set.

Black Lips. Good stuff.

Cults. Another one I’d like to check out for myself.

Noah + The Whale. Gaining popularity, wouldn’t mind watching that one.

Lissie. I missed her in concert. I think she’s great, she played Coachella as well.  

Ok, so now onto the ones that I just really really really REALLY REALLY would like to see at ACL and could maybe maybe maybe make an appearance…

Fleet Foxes. Ok, I don’t know if I can describe how much I love this band. When I first heard “White Winter Hymnal” I replayed it over.and over.and over.and over.and over and again. AND every time I heard it I couldn’t help but smile and bounce. Their new album “Helplesness Blues” released only 3 days ago will blow.your.socks.off. So, please please please bring Fleet Foxes to ACL!

Mumford & Sons: I mean…need I say more? INCRED. Also, they’ve been touring withAvett Brothers doing the railroad revival tour, AND they played opening weekend of Jazzfest. I will die of happiness if they are both featured.

Florence + The Machine. What has she been up to? I think she’d be a great addition. She has two shows here in America listed in June, and that’s it….surprise us Flo and come to ACL!

That’s all folks. I mean, I could add more but then I’d get my hopes up wayyy too much!

peaceloveandmusic!

lovelovelove, 

the psychic one who foretells music festival lineups…hopefully….

The Hipster Dilemma....(as seen on my new tumblr!)

I’m confused. 

Broad statement, right? So here’s what I’m confused about. It’s the Hipsters. 

Before you go out and get all offended and all “oh no she didn’t”, lemme break it down for you.

I just don’t get the Hipster movement. And here’s the kicker….They seem to be EVERYWHERE nowadays. Like when I went bicycle shopping the other day and the dude helping me (bless his poor heart by the way, because I am bicycle challenged and had no idea what the eff he was saying) kept saying “well, you might not like this, it’s just a hipster bike and there’s no real use for it” but by looking at him, I could’ve sworn he was part of the hipster movement. See where I get confused? I totes would’ve called this guy a hipster (not to his face) but I’ve NEVER heard someone call themselves a hipster. Is that bad? People talk, act, dress and apparently now bike like hipsters, but no one calls them self one….ummmm que?

Some more hipster questions I have. Please feel free to educate me on the subject. To be honest, I’m fascinated by the term….

1.) Am I a hipster since I have Chuck Taylors in my closet and own several vintage plaid shirts?

2.) Why are mustaches so hipster? Someone said it’s because they’re “ironic”. I have a Master’s Degree in literature and I perpetually fail to see the irony. Since when is facial hair ironic? Are beards ironic? Soul patches are creepy, but are they ironic now too? Are girls with mustaches in need of a good wax hipsters now too?

3.) WHY DO HIPSTERS RIDE FIXED GEAR BICYCLES? I NEED TO KNOW.

4.) Why do hipsters go to indie concerts and then have no idea about the music they’re listening to??? I went to a concert this weekend and I was awesome enough to be included in a hipster conversation, and NONE of them knew EITHER of the 2 bands playing. 

5.) Why do hipsters like irony so much? So many of them love “Ironic tattoos”….why?

6.) Why do hipsters all wear the same type of glasses? Most people don’t even look good in those frames. Is it because of Kanye?

Is he an honorary hipster or full fledged card carrying hipster? Do hipsters hate or love him? If it wasn’t Kanye, then WHO STARTED WITH THE GLASSES!?

7.) Why do people love to hate hipsters?

8.) Why is Pabst Blue Ribbon considered “hipster beer”???

9.) Do all hipsters shop at the same stores? Are you not totally hipster if your clothes aren’t all vintage? oh crap….I love vintage clothing, am I a hipster?!

10.) AM I A HIPSTER!?! What does it mean!??!

*Disclaimer*

I don’t love or hate hipsters. This is a case study. 

oh…and no hipsters or animals were hurt in this investigation. 

peacelove&irony?
lovelovelove, 

I'M TUMBLING!!

I got a tumblr....I'm kinda nervie about it....thoughts?
peacelove&yikes!

http://justjulesjustlisten.tumblr.com/

Stuff....

Know what I hate?
I hate having a stomach virus during the one week of work that I definitely shouldn't miss, especially when there is BEAUTIFUL spring weather and my inner chihuahua is living a life of sheer bliss.....

The Houston Livestock Show and Rodeo is in full force ladies and gentlemen, and I feel the need to dedicate these next two weeks to "Rodeo Time" on the blog. What is "Rodeo Time" you may ask? It is a time where I will recount every hilarious, amazing, scary and "only in Texas" moment you could ever ask for!

Rodeo is PERFECT people watching, and we all know that I love people judging watching.
Stomach bug or not, it is now my duty to share rodeo stuff!
Stay tuned as I go out and record data for the next week of Rodeo Posts and Pics!

MIA....not just a badass musician

I AM SO MIA IT HURTS!

But guess what!?!

My cray cray business will be over as of THIS COMING SATURDAY AND I HAVE SO SO SO MUCH TO TELL YOU ALL!

and i promise i will start reading all of you beautiful blogs when saturday is over!  i miss blogging and reading your blogs!!!

peaceloveandhatingbeingsodarnbusy,
lovelovelove,

Empty Promises.....

Sooo....I know I keep saying that I'll be back in "full hurricane force" asap....but I've kind of been on the struggle bus lately and have had lit-rilly ZERO time for anything other than work....aaaad the fact that I've been out of town EVERY.SINGLE.WEEKEND. since mid-September!
BUT

I thought I would interrupt my silence to let you all know HOW excited I am about attending AUSTIN CITY LIMITS MUSIC FESTIVAL THIS WEEKEND!!!!

Are you going??

Who are you excited to see??

My inner Chihuahua is CRAY CRAY excited, especially with this ridiculously amazing weather we've been having lately.

SO, while I can't promise that I'll be in full blog force soon, I will try my damndest to give you ACL updates!!!

peacelovea&music&austinisawesome, 
lovelovelove,

Life Lately

HAS BEEN STRAIGHT UP CRAY CRAY!


For realz, I literally have had no time to read blog, much less write my own which is super sad, but hopefully I'll be back up and running soon!


I will be leaving town this weekend for a wedding extravaganza (not my own) but when I'm back hopefully I will be able to bring everyone back to speed!


love and MISS y'all!


hugs from the south
peaceloveandnotimetospare,
lovelovelove,

Nooz

Lovahs and Friends,

I have some not so surprising nooz. Here goes: I am a crap-tastic blogger!

I have been so MIA it's not even funny! My life has been a whirlwind of being poolside, being up till 8 am, working, not working, playing, drinking too much beer, too much world cup, too little sleep, and SO MUCH FUN. I start my first big girl, REAL WORLD job in three weeks, so I'm trying to get it all out of my system!

However, the party will continue, but I will be an amazing blogger in about 3 weeks, I PINKIE PROMISE, GIRL SCOUTS HONOR.....

In other nooz, I'm leaving the country tomorrow for 9 days, so obvs, I won't be blogging. But when I get back I might post some pics, but who knows. Oh yeah and now my blog looks ugly and I don't have time to fix it....no me gusta. 

I have some animal whisperer stories, some concert recaps, some hilarious tidbits, and a little somethin' somethin' about me and Regina George to share with you when I get back!

I miss you all oodles and bunches and will be back in action for realz before you can say JagerBomb.....boom.roasted.

peaceloveandsummerrocks,

lovelovelove,

Meowmix

Lovahs....

Again, I'm so super sorry for leaving you in the dark lately! I've gotten some sweet emails and comments and I can assure you everything is just peachy!

I just got back from a marathon weekend in Austin, and I swear my body was having flashbacks to college because we made 7am our bedtime almost every night....ouch. But so so worth it. Plenty of tales to come. Like the time I told some random guido he looked like the guy from the Shakeweight commercial.....yeah.

So the last post was surely confusing for you all, and that's totes understandable! I'm not going to elaborate on it because it's kinda personal and we all know how I'm not so good with mushy emotional things, capiche? However, all I will say is that it resolved an issue that has plagued and pained me for a few years now, and I feel better about some things that happened in the past. Although I know the past isn't where I should be living....but still.

In light of moving on and growing up, I'm going to share with you a piece I wrote for a website a few years ago. It never got published because the company went under, but I really enjoyed writing it. I wrote it four years ago, right after the most painful heartbreak anyone could ask for. SO that's as emo as I'll get on here...Yes, I have had a terrible heartbreak...Yes, I survived. So I hope you enjoy it! Let me know what you think!

The Breakup: Up close and personal with the nasty deed

So you got dumped, or you were the dumper, hell it could’ve been the “mutual” thing; for what it’s worth....it’s OVER. No ifs ands or buts, it’s done, gone to the trash, you’re single and so are they. What the hell to do now?  If you’re anything like the typical human being (cold, heartless man/woman eaters to the side), you’ll sit down for about a month or two and torture yourself and all those around you  by listening to every sad song, going to  your “favorite restaurants” and mentioning your ex-significant other in every other conversation. You’ll also read every note, go over every conversation, and over-analyze the life out of every possible aspect of your already DONE AND OVER WITH relationship. I’ve gone through this process recently and to save all of you the time and emotional gut twisting roller coaster of a break up, I’ve come to a couple of very important conclusions...

DISCLAIMER: The forthcoming advice is applicable to all who chose to adhere. Take it at your own risk, your life will not become instantly happier, your ex will not come crawling back nor will they come down with an exotic un-curable disease. These words are meant to help you. As with all breakups they vary in severity, the author is well aware that “he/she might have been the one”. But at this rate, they are being “the one” that is probably out having a better time than you are, so you might as well start doing the same thing.

1. You must accept the fact that it’s over. Even if there IS a flickering hope that there will be a re-kindling of the relationship you can’t hold on forever. If you’re going to get back together, it’ll happen, rain or shine. If you believe in fate, this will be easy for you, whatever it may be that you do/do not believe in, order will restore itself whether or not he/she is in the picture.

2. Stalking is usually illegal... don’t take the risk of getting caught doing it, plus it’ll just make you feel worse, and they’ll think you’re psycho which ruins the chances of ever speaking to them again.

3. If you so happen to be on speaking terms, keep it friendly, start out with small-talk and don’t bust out with serious sob-worthy dissertation length speeches about “what happened to us?” Keep it light and friendly at first, and then if the time and mood is right, you can usually let your guard down and talk about any lingering issues in a civilized manner. (Bold and italicized statements are meant to be strongly emphasized.)

4. Avoid “rebounding”. Leave that to the basketball players. It can make you look uber desperate and it can be disrespectful to the other person. What I mean is, you might be making them feel like everything you ever had was completely meaningless and you’re just rubbing it in their face. Avoid rubbing things in their face. It may be tempting, but be the bigger person; it always pays off even though it doesn’t feel like it at the time.

5. Avoid rebounding within the ex’s circle of friends (i.e. trying to go through the entirety of his/her pledge class) word gets around fast and you don’t want to look like an idiot or a walking STD.

6. Don’t ask don’t tell. Don’t go prying into their personal details (see number 2). Don’t try to find out who they’re hanging out with or hooking up with. Don’t reveal your personal life either, if you’ve ever played telephone in a large group of people you’ll understand how one simple phrase can be grossly misconstrued (especially when everyone is at a loud party with a couple drinks coursing through their bloodstream.) If they want to tell you about it, let them tell you. If they’re not telling you it’s for a reason.

7. Don’t burn bridges. Acting brashly and lashing out at the ex or their friends can have some nasty repercussions. Stay calm and cool, don’t trash talk. It sounds bitter and nasty and it only fuels the fire. Don’t be rude to people who are associated with the ex. You and the ex are the ones who broke up, no one else had anything to do with it and let’s keep it that way.

8. Keep memories sweet. You both know you had some really great times and some amazing memories, keep them. Don’t let the past poison your future, it’s ok to crack a smile if you remember the time he/she did something absolutely heart melting for you. You don’t have feel like you have mad cow every time you think of them. Keep the memories right where they are and move on, make better ones.

9. Get out there, if you read number 4, you’ll know what NOT to do. Just because you’re newly single doesn’t mean you have to immediately start dating. All those times you secretly were envious of your single friends are no more. Go have fun, crack yourself up, forget about “spitting your game”, or “pulling some wool”. Great things happen when you least expect them. Go do what YOU want to do, surround yourself with great friends and good times.

10. Lastly and very importantly. You’re likely still in college. Your biological clock is not  ticking that desperately yet. Stop pursuing your Mrs./Mr. Degree and focus on yourself. Don’t take it to an extreme and become an antisocial hermit, but enjoy your youth. You are on the road to finding the right person, you need some trial runs before the real thing. Put it this way, you’re one trial run down, admit that it was fun and try another! (Remember the walking STD part). You’re in college, there are oodles of options, try things you never would’ve tried. You won’t know you like something until you try it. Stop riding the pine and get back on the playing field.

Hopefully you’ve put down the pint of haagen daaz, turned off “The Notebook” and are well on your way to getting ready for a night of painting the town red. Let the future happen, worry about right now and being happy right now. You can worry about tomorrow when it gets here, and it will work itself out. In the words of the Semi Sonics “every new beginning comes from some other beginning’s end.” Make lots of great beginnings and let the endings make you better, not bitter.

peaceloveandnewbeginnings, 

lovelovelove,

Dear Mr. Not So Anonymous...

Blogfriends, super huge apologies for being a shistey blogger, but I'm going 100 mph these days! Have no fear, I'll be back super soon. For now, I dedicate this quick post to "Anonymous" who commented on my last post. 

Dear Mr. "Not So Anonymous", 

I'm sure you thought I'd know who you were. I gave you my address via Facebook a few years ago and never received my book you still have. There is an e-mail address attached to this website where you can correspond with me in reference to the following:

1. I will once again give you my mailing address to receive said book. 

2. "B Pride" is great. I see him fairly often. 

3. I don't understand what you mean by  the "Edward" comment....But as far as a "well deserved last laugh" how about sending me a "well deserved" apology? I think a late one is better than none at all, wouldn't you agree? Especially since our last conversation took place over an INSTANT MESSAGE.

4. How in the world did you find my blog.

I should be the mature adult in this situation but I think I deserve an apology. I think I've deserved an apology for quite some time now. I'll be on the lookout for that email. lifeonahanger@gmail.com 

Viva Mexico. 

Just When I Was Sure It Couldn't Get Worse....

I don't know about you guys, but Houston has a little problem. I refer to it as the attack of the douchengoyles. (Thank you Carissa). You're all like, huh? Ok, so the douchengoyle: a definition...

• Wears more hair gel than I have ever applied to my head, INCLUDING 4th grade dance recitals. 

• Wears more rhinestones than a Judith Leiber clutch.

• Makes less money than I do and acts like he's BFF with P.Diddy and the Donald. 

• Drinks shots of Patron and lots of Jager Bombs, probably only drinks "Michelob Ultra" too. 
• WEARS ED HARDY. I don't think you understand how much I hate Ed Hardy. Monday, when I was watching Real Housewives of New Jersey, I almost jumped through the television and RIPPED OFF poor Jacqueline's little baby boy's outfit because she has him on the fast track to douchengoyle-dom, and NO I don't care that it's Jersey, it's just NOT OK. I HATE ED HARDY. WHAT'S THE POINT? 
• Honestly. What is the point? It costs more than a nice, sensible, and very sexy simple Polo or Lacoste shirt, and HAS GLITTERY SHIT AND DAGGERS AND LIONS AND TIGERS AND ROSES ON IT. It's like Lisa Frank took acid and went apeshit and sold her designs to this Christian Audigier character. (No disrespect Lisa...you made my elementary school days SO much brighter, sparklier, unicornier, and ponier)

but then she took acid and made Ed Hardy his millions.

AND NOW, I HAVE BEEN MADE PAINFULLY AWARE THAT MR. AUDIGIER HIMSELF has released THESE. Read the full article HERE. This is some really REALLY BAD NOOZ.

EXCUSE ME, BUT I DO NOT WANT A MENTAL IMAGE OF DOUCHENGOYLES BONING DOUCHEN-GOYLE-ETTES, or SLORES as I like to refer to trashbag women. I swear, you should see some of the people here. It's like they live underground during the day in the sewers, and then at night, they crawl out all slimy and glittery and sparkly in their nasty sparkly gear. GROSS. AT LEAST THESE WILL PREVENT THEM FROM PROCREATING. Ugh. 

Moving on. Wish my male beefer happy travels on his way to visit my beefiestbeefer, and hopefully they don't have to call me for advice on where to find one of these "Monsieur Bond" gems. Oy vey. LOVE YOU GUYS. 

bahahahah

peaveloveandedhardysucks,

lovelovelove, 

MEOWMIX

The title is just because. I like saying meowmix.

NOOZ:

1. Super apologies for sucking at blogging. 

2. I GOT A JOB! Member when I was all cray cray scared thinking I was going to have to start stripping? Well, fear not, because I'm officially a grown up! Only downside is  I don't start till August and I need a summer job...ideas? Anybody want to hire yours truly?

3. The past few weeks have been a whirlwind of cray cray but I secretly love that about life. I'm a lucky girl!

ROOLZ:

1. When it's 98 degrees outside and hot as BALLZ, please for the love of Miley WEAR DEODORANT PEOPLE. I was in line getting my passport the other day and damn near keeled over after catching a whiff of what was quite possibly THE.WORST.BO I've ever experienced. Holy holy holy guacamole. If smells could kill I'd be long gone. 

DOUBLE YOU TEA EFF WEDNESDAY:

Whore-moans have ONCE AGAIN kidnapped me for the day and I wish I could crawl into a little ball under my desk and die death by crampage and whore-moan kidnappage. BLAH. I need a Bloody Mary the size of Wisconsin and I need it NOW. Yeah it's only 1pm and I don't careeeee. 

I'll take TEN. And keep 'em comin'....

HAPPY SUMMER LOVAHS!

peaceloveandantiperspirantporfavor, 

lovelovelove, 

Just a Quickie...

K, so I pinkie promised I'd be back for realz this week, but things are STILL hella cray cray up in here.


My besticle beefer left yesterday...I'm super duper sadface about that. I will share some classic one liners from her visit for your entertainment....Most of these occurred in PUBLIC.


"You belong in a barn"


"You have more rings on than a carney"


"You? Like a virgin? More like "Like A Virgin, Touched for the 75th time!" (While Singing to the tune of Madonna's "Like A Virgin")


"You're giving me the grenade? I hate you."


"I can see your crawfish"


Basically it was an incredible weekend, I had a crawfish boil and I was a mess in a dress. I might show you pics. But might not .We'll see. I PROMISE I'll for realz be back soon, I know I've been sayin' that, but I MEAN it.


peaceloveandcrawfish,
lovelovelove,

GUESS FREAKING WHAT?!?!?!?!

OK don't guess, 'cause I'm gonna tell you....I've got lotsa NOOZ for you!


1. MY BESTICLE/BEEFER/BFFFFFFFFFFFL for LIFE is coming in town in approximantely 4 HOURS!!! I haven't seen her in 6 months and I will finally have my BEEFIEST BEEFERS IN THE WORLD together in ONE PLACE for the FIRST TIME EVAHHHHHHHHHHHH. You'll be able to see fireworks and stars and shit shooting from the sky. 


2. I FINISHED SCHOOL. I AM GRADUATING TOMORROW. WOOOOOOOOOOOP.


3. I just bought my cap and gown, and since I'm getting a Master's I will be the girl who looks like she's off to a Quidditch match.....yikes. NOT a good look for me. 


ANNNNNNNNNNND I will be back in full hurricane force next week!!!!!!!!


I've missed you!!!


peaceloveandquidditchandbesticlebeefers, 
lovelovelove, 

The Hypothetical Cats Are Out Of The Bag....

OK, so I guess we have an issue to address. Other than the fact that I will not be blogging till next week because I am supposed to be writing a term paper right now, and I have 2 more to write. GROSS. 

On my last blog post, SOMEONE (an anonymous commenter) asked me the following:

Random question...are you part Asian?

Your pictures look like you might be and with the names of your dogs I thought I'd ask!

NOW: I have my theories as to who this "anonymous commenter" was. First of all, I have never shown my real face on the blog. Why does this make you think I'm Asian? Was it the Mermaid Locks? Usually one can see Asian-ness in the eye area, and I haven't shown this. So riddle me this, "anonymous blogger", had my dog been named "Bratwurst" or "Weinerschnitzel" would you think I was German? Austrian? What if I just like Japanese names? I'm not pissed, in fact I find this hysterical. But to answer your question, no, I'm not Asian. But thanks for asking. Sushi and Shinko are just fun to say and the actual breed of dog (shih-tzu) IS ASIAN. So yes, MY DOG IS ASIAN. 

Next issue:

MY DOG IS NOT ONLY ASIAN, BUT SHE IS A CAT. Yeah. You read that right. And I have proof. First of all, she licks her paws like a cat, she is also sneaky like a NINJA, and very...catlike in general. She is also OBSESSED with cats, and cats are OBSESSED with her. Here's the proof. I look up from paper writing and I see this:

DOES ANYONE ELSE THINK THIS IS EFFING WEIRD? Do you see the BRIGHT LIGHTS coming from the cat's eyes??? It's JEDI MIND TRICKING MY POOR NUGGET OF LOVE. They are literally making love through their eyes. I'm pretty sure that's ILLEGAL. They sat like that for LIT-RILLY 10 MINUTES. TEN WHOLE MINUTES MAKING EYE LOVE. 

In other nooz...there is no other news, other than HAPPY CINCO DE MARGARITAS  MAYO. 

peaceloveandcatdogaction,
lovelovelove,

**DISCLAIMER** NO ANIMALS WERE HARMED IN THE MAKING OF THIS BLOG POST. So don't get all PETA in my grill. 

WillYooMaryMii and Some other Cray Cray Bits...

K so I've recently been assigned a LOAD of non-fun-ness at work, basically lots of numbers and letters and combinations of letters and numbers, and I have the math skills of a 3 year old with severe ADHD and Dyslexia. Yeah. That bad. 


Ask my friends and my college math professor. I took "football player math" at Vanderbilt...twice. Yeah. I was supposed to be the "shining star" and turns out the dudes with like 2 brain cells left did better than I did....maybe it was also combined with the fact that it was at 8AM, my FIRST SEMESTER, my boyfriend was in the class, and he skipped too (I'm basically saying it was his fault...bad influence...he was older), and I'm NOT a morning person, especially when there are parties to be had.....I DIGRESSIONATE.

My co-worker sent me a website where you can buy the same engagement ring that Edward gives Bella. WHAT.THE.PFEFFERNUSSE. 

you can buy the ring HERE. Not that you'd want to...you would? ew.

I mean I'm all in love with vamps and sparkly hot (I guess in real life they'd be cold, but whatev) men and what not, but COME ON. When you're 90 and looking at this ring, you might think differently. PLUS, it's not really pretty. Nor does it look like a real live engagement ring. It looks like something you could buy at FOREVER21 for $5.80 (I heart forever21, but it's not where I want my engagement ring from...obvi). So, they also give you options. You can have the CHEAP version, the MEDIUM CHEAP version, and the REAL version. Who the EFF is going to know? I honestly think its creep-tastic. Thoughts???

Other Cray Cray Bits for you:

I have three term papers left to write then I AM DONE-ZO. 

My professor used the word "TROLL" in class the other day and I lit-rilly almost had to walk out because I was about to go all loosey goosey and crack up. 

CARISSA and I collaborated and created the word "DOUCHENGOYLE" to describe a stupid dude. It is a combination of "douche canoe" and "gargoyle". Use it. Love it. Spread it. Like BUTTAH. 

I decided what I'm going to name my next dog. Actually, I might get one soon. You all know how my precious baby love nugget is currently named Sushi, and I'm getting her a sister (I think/hope) and naming her Shinko. It's a japanese name for a girl, and also a type of Sushi. You're jealous.  I've accidentally been calling Sushi "Shinko" and she's all "bitch get my name right"...

Allright, I have a confesh. 
I'm secretly (not so secretly anymore) OBSESSED with the song "Red Blooded Woman" by Kylie Minogue. JUDGE ME. Then listen to it and TRY TO JUDGE ME. Miley and Britney of course remain in first place forever. Obvi. Who do you think I am?

peaceloveanddouchengoyles, 
lovelovelove,