Tuesday, November 10, 2009

Titillating Tuesday

I like the word titillating, titillation, it's fun, suggestive maybe, but basically just fun. Nothing particularly titillating has happened this bright beautiful day, but I just thought I'd put it up there for a tease...


This will be a compilation of random tidbits, since I'm done with my last midterm, and now I can breathe free for like...a day or two. 


This really freaks me out/irks me/grosses me out: When someone is talking on the phone or brushing their teeth in a public bathroom. First, the talking on the phone...while in the stall...that's just disgusting and I don't think I need to explain why. Lock yourself in the supply closet or go out to your car, outside, ANYWHERE but the bathroom because A. it's DISGUSTING and B. it's creepy when a voice is coming out of the stall and you think someone's trying to talk to you, but they're not, and it's awkward. Ok enough. Now: brushing teeth. Don't get me wrong, I'm all about oral hygiene. I love having sparkly minty fresh breath and pearly whites, HOWEVER I feel that I would be risking my health if I brushed in the PUBLIC restroom. Do you know how many germs fly around there? Ugh. I can't even think about it because I might lose my breakfast. So if you are one of those people who either talks on the cell or brushes in the bathroom, I'll be that girl giving you the disgusted look. Nothing personal, I just think you're kinda gross, but have a grrrrreat day!









Ok, I don't like to discuss my personal dating habits or relationship status on here because 1. I don't know you that well (yet) 2. I like to keep those things to myself usually. Here's the thing, and this is characteristic of me regardless of whether I'm in a relationship or not. I have a face that does not hide much emotion, which is why I'm a bad liar. I used to kind of date/see/flirt with a bartender/singer-songwriter in Nashville and he once told me that he wished he had a video recording of me while at a bar. Mind you, the presence of alcohol in my blood only leads to the magnification of my honesty and tell-tale facial expressions. If a creepster came up to me and my friends to flirt, I'd either fake being foreign and "no speaky englich" or I'd look at them like they were Freddy Kreuger and they'd promptly get the hint. I'm not particularly proud of this fact, but I just don't see the point in masking my real feelings, it's better if you know it's just not going to work from the get-go right? No false illusions? 


However, someone recently (this weekend) told me that I need to work on my finesse in awkward situations. I just wish I was better at giving out fake numbers, that way I wouldn't have to do the awkward "Oh, I'm out of town for the rest of the month" line (which I used this past weekend) or, "Sure...I'll call you". (Apparently these are really "mean" and I should work on the "gentle letdown"...to me, a letdown is a letdown right!?)  I'm usually very good at knowing whether or not I'll be attracted to someone within the first ten minutes of meeting. If I think I might like you, I'll go out with you; if not, then I'll probably say something weird, tell you I'm out of town for the rest of the year, or you'll trick me into going out with you, and I'll be super awkard the whole time, making awful conversation, and not being able to mask the fact that I'm dying inside, and then I'll tell you I'm out of town for the rest of the year so I won't have to go out with you again. Like I said, I'm a bad liar, so usually the "I'll be out of town" line is spoken while trying to not nervously laugh. 


I've given a fake number once. And it backfired. Majorly. The guy asked for my number, let's say my phone number is 999.999.9999. Well, I told him my number was 998.999.9999. So it wasn't a blatantly wrong number. My phone was in my small purse... in my hand...in plain view. He immediately called my "phone" so I could have his number....my phone didn't ring. He said "why isn't it ringing" I turned beet red, and said, "oh...maybe you didn't type it in correctly"...So I was FORCED to give him the right one. I saved him in my phone as "DO NOT ANSWER"....problem solved. 


Moral of the story: I'm bad at lying and giving fake numbers, but I'm good at giving off the "I'm not interested vibe", but it's usually done awkardly. When I'm interested in someone, I'll answer their calls, answer their texts, and be friendly. When I'm not...well you know what happens. 





Example: I was out this weekend, and a particularly creepy gentleman approached me and Sarah. He said "do you ladies need a drink?" My first thought is..."uhhh no thanks, I don't care for roofie coladas", but instead, I give Sarah a blank stare and say "QUE!?"...so I tried to pull the foreign thing...She, being the wonderful wing-woman that she is, said this "She's effing with you, she really DOES speak English"....So I give her an evil glare, turn to Mr. Weirdo, and say "oh..woops..just kidding"...He makes some completely asinine comment, and Sarah sees me struggling since my timespan for creative lies has come and gone and I might be forced to say something truthful (which could turn out to be incredibly rude). She cuts in (thank you Lord) and says "she's actually pregnant"...I play along. I secretly moved my ring to my ring finger, hold it up and proudly say "Yep! I'm married and I just found out I'm preggers!" (I had a beer in my hand...) So, we look smug, and are sure that he's going to say "oh, sorry" and walk away...but no, that'd be too easy. He looks at me and says, "I like that about you..." At this point, I'm about to cry salty tears of frustration because Frankenstein won't leave me the eff alone, so I just turn around and walk away. Once again...no ability to give the "gentle letdown". 




Enough with me and my brutal honesty. I'm just happy that the weather is amazing! I've got lots of ear candy for you today, so go download!


Musique Du Jour: 


Back to Black- Amy Winehouse
Piano Song- Meiko
Swans- Unkle Bob
Still Allright- Adam Merrin
All I Want From You Is Love- Let's Go Sailing
Eulogy- The Hereafter
Boring- The Pierces
Infinity- Merrick
A Good Start- Maria Taylor
Make This Go On Forever- Snow Patrol
Swimmers- Broken Social Scene
Blindsided- Bon Iver
Time Won't Let Me Go- The Bravery
(If You're Wondering If I Want You To ) I Want You To- Weezer
Soil Soil- Tegan and Sara
Edie- The Cult
The Light- Mirah
Destiny- Zero 7
Night Over Manuas (Soulboy Collection) - Boozoo Bajou
The Reeling- Passion Pit
Escape Me- DJ Tiesto feat. C.C. Sheffield
Bend It Like You Don't Care- DJ Tiesto
Metropolitain- Emanuel Santarromana (On Hotel Costes Vol. 6)
The Heinrich Maneuver- Interpol
No Buses- Arctic Monkeys

7 comments:

  1. Who knew that a fake pregnancy would be a turn on. What a d bag. ah ha ha

    ReplyDelete
  2. Hello mon cher, a kiss on you!
    Come back, keep following me ;)

    "I'd like my work to let the person who wears it be whatever she is" - Haider Ackermann

    @ MaisonChaplin.blogspot.com

    ReplyDelete
  3. I think you have TOO much finesse. I say
    You are disgusting please leave the space containing the air around me.

    works.

    ReplyDelete
  4. I'm all about the awkward honesty much to the chagrin of my friends because they are way more polite than I am. I'm totally with you on this one

    ReplyDelete
  5. Ciao, how are you? J'aime your post, thanks for sharing! Have a good weekend!

    "I've tried to find a new elegance. It's not easy because people want to be shocked. They want explosive fashion. But explosions don't last, they disappear immediately and leave nothing but ashes."- Giorgio Armani

    @ MAISONCHAPLIN.BLOGSPOT.COM

    ReplyDelete
  6. OMG peeps who talk on the potty are just off one. and that guy who likes preggers is disgusting. can we say, LOSER! oh but he "likes that about you." WHAT?! LOL!

    ReplyDelete
  7. What a doosh!!!
    He likes married & preggers...is he Mormon?

    ReplyDelete

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